Starting Over
by Makoto Sagara
Summary: Complete! Heero's been missing for a year since the Eve's War, and mysteriously shows up an orphanage that Trowa and Duo are running on L2. When they start to experience trouble with a local gang, can the new and improved Heero Yuy save the day?
1. Where the Lines Overlap

**Title:** Starting Over

**Author: **Makoto Sagara  
><strong>Series:<strong> Gundam Wing  
><strong>Archive:<strong> , /makotosagara/, , , .com; anywhere else, please ask  
><strong>Category<strong>: Angst, Action

**Pairings:** 1+2+1, others unknown  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Shonen ai, language, angst, sap, Post-EW  
><strong>Disclaimers: <strong>I make no money, so suing is pointless. If you think I own GW, then you need to see someone. I have the number to a nice doctor... Oh, SALLY!

**Author's Notes: **Ugh, me and my big mouth… I reread ACL, and then Angel gave me the link to a good trilogy by Calic0cat, who is well worth the read btw (Bound by Honour trilogy), and the damn 1x2 bug bit me again. Rainy and Enna told me that I was *not* to write another one, but… It won't go away and it's affecting my 2x5 writing! HELP! Anyhow, Angel *also* gave me a plot bunny for her favorite pairing, so here I am. *glares at Neko and Usagi, who are fighting over how much they get to do to the G-boys this time around* Oh, and just so you know, yes, yes, I am insane. =P

**Starting Over, Chapter 1 – Where the Lines Overlap**

'_372 days since the end of the Eve's War',_ Duo thought, getting up with a yawn and groaning as things that shouldn't have been out of place popped back in. _'God, I'm only eighteen. I'm not supposed to feel like this yet.' _He stretched a bit more and looked at his reflection in the mirror across from his bed. _'I need more sleep. Those kids are running me ragged.'_

'_Coffee, I need coffee… Even Q's sludge would be welcome this morning.' _With a groan, Duo dragged his body into the small kitchen that his living quarters allowed, happy to see that the coffee pot was already full and waiting for him, and Trowa was sitting at the table. "Yo."

"Same back at you," Trowa said, smiling at the spectacle Duo made that early in the morning with only a pair of boxers and his hair slipping out of its perpetual braid. "I figured after that fight between the older boys last night, you'd need caffeine when you woke up."

"Where's Q? I thought he was stopping by with some of his sisters who aren't mommies yet to help out for the day?" Duo asked as he poured an extra-large cup for himself and a normal sized one for Trowa, adding tons of cream and sugar to his and nothing to the other.

"They'll be here in a little bit. Hilde and Cathy are on breakfast duty today."

"Thank God for small miracles," the Deathscythe pilot muttered. "Tro, I gotta do something about those older kids. They're fighting way too much lately."

"And it's not like you can really step in between them because you might hurt them?"

"Yeah, I mean, I have awesome control, but when Brian pulled my braid last night, I thought I was going to break his neck before Quatre pulled me back."

"It's a shame that you can't have Wufei or Heero here to do something like teach self-defense or martial arts to them. It would be beneficial."

"Yeah, I know. I asked 'Fei, but he's so busy at the Preventers for Une and Sally, that he can't do it. And I still haven't been able to track down Heero."

"I know. I did another check for any financials, but there was nothing."

"This is getting ridiculous. He just disappears after we save Relena and we can't find him?" Duo sighed and tugged on his braid absently. "I mean, he's not dead, or Q would know, right? Right?"

Trowa got up and put a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder. "Remember what happened the first time he self-destructed? What did Quatre tell you then?"

"That he was okay."

"And what does he tell you when you ask now?"

"That he's alive."

"So, do you think he's lying?"

"No, Quatre does a lot of omissions with other people, but not us." Duo rubbed at his eyes to make sure that the tears that had threatened to spill out didn't. "Thanks, Tro."

"No problem, Duo. Now, I suggest a shower and getting dressed. The kids will be up in a little bit and then we have the problem of transportation to school."

"What happened to the bus?"

"Engine's missing."

"Dammit! I'm going to kill those gang bangers if they do that one more time!"

"Another day, I'll help, but right now, we have to hurry."

Heero blinked as the weak sun shone through the window of his room. _'How long have I been here?'_ He carefully shifted long, lean limbs and tried to gather his thoughts. _'I checked in a week after I saved Relena from Mariemaea's Army. Told them that if they didn't do something, I was going to hurt *someone*.'_ He smiled grimly as he thought about that day._ 'They didn't believe me until I broke that orderly's arm after he came up behind me. I thought that doctor was going to run screaming from the room when I told him that I was the pilot of Wing.'_

He sat up straight at the thought of his Gundam. _'I wonder what Quatre did with all of the Gundams? I mean, I heard Wufei went to the Preventers, so I can only assume that he took Altron with him as well. But the others, what are they doing?'_ The sad smile he'd been wearing as he thought was wiped completely as the door to his room opened.

"Mr. Gregor, the doctor said it's time for your appointment," a woman in a nurse's uniform said timidly before running to hide behind three bulky orderlies.

"Great," Heero said, his voice croaking from disuse.

"So, Mr. Gregor, you've been here for nearly twelve months," Heero's doctor started, looking up from a notebook at his desk. "Do you feel that therapy has helped you come to grips with why you checked yourself into this facility?"

"I haven't had a nightmare in three months, Dr. Shaw," Heero answered after careful consideration. "I'd forgotten what it was like to actually sleep through the night without screaming myself awake."

"That certainly is progress, but I'm more interested in the rage you held onto so tightly."

"If you're asking do I want to break people's heads open anymore, the answer is no."

"That is a great improvement. Do you think you'll be going back to using your name from the war or will you make a clean break once you're released?"

"I hadn't really thought about it," the teenager answered. "No, I've avoided thinking about it. There's a lot of baggage that goes along with that name."

"But you're worried about your friends and comrades?"

"Yes and no," Heero said, frowning at the truth of the statement. "They were soldiers, all but _her_, but they were strong. Chang… Wufei… He was conflicted after the first war, but I know he's with the Preventers now, which is where he'll do the most good. As for the others, I haven't heard much from them, but I'm sure they're doing alright."_ 'Especially Duo, he's so strong, but sometimes, even I worried about his stability. How ironic is it that I should be the one to end up in a psychiatric ward for a year?'_

"And her, do you still worry about her?"

Heero's head snapped up and he glared at the doctor before trying to form the words. "Very few times have I ever really worried about her, and only when she was in real danger. It's strange. She practically stalked me, but she's the best person I know."

"So, Mr. Gregor - or should I call you Mr. Yuy now? – what will you do once I sign these release forms?"

"I think I'll find out what the other Gundam pilots are doing, and try having a real life for a change."

"Well, I'd say you're ready for it." The doctor stood and held out his hand to Heero. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Heero said as he shook the man's hand.

Duo sighed as he and Trowa managed to put a new engine in the dilapidated bus they used to shuttle the orphans around the colony. "You know, Tro, maybe we should call the police about this. This is the third time this month that gang of hoodlums has done something to the bus, not to mention all the rocks and firebombs they'd launched through the windows."

"We could, Duo," Trowa said as he pushed the mechanic's trolley he was lying on out from under the yellow monstrosity, "or, you could go and put the fear of Shinigami in them."

"It'd be a waste, man. They're too dumb to fear Death, even when he's facing them." Trowa laughed as he wiped his hands on grease-stained jeans.

"You're probably right, Duo. Now, let's see if this thing works so we can go pick up the kids from school."

"Hell yes!" Duo jumped up the stairs and threw himself behind the wheel. Cranking the key and praying, he let out a whoop of joy as it roared to life. "God, it sounds better than before. But I gotta get those back brakes replaced too." He looked at his watch. "Ugh, it's time. Go tell Hilde and Cathy that we got it to work, and then we can head out."

A few minutes later, Duo and Trowa pulled up in front of the elementary school where most of their charges attended and waited. "You know, I've been wondering why you decided to open up an orphanage of all things once the wars were over, Duo. And on L2 of all places."

"Well, it's not a surprise. I grew up on these streets, and I know how many orphans were made because of all the stupid fighting. These kids get the short stick because L2 has always been kinda the cesspool of the Earth Sphere. Where else could I go when I knew I was needed here?" Duo grinned, a shadow of his old manic grin from the wars. "What I want to know is why didn't you go and work for Q at WEI? I mean, you didn't have to help me do this. Between Une, Relena and Q, I had enough backers to do it, and Hilde and Cathy were more than happy to help me out on a day-to-day basis."

"I was an orphan too, so I suppose I understand your sentiment. Besides, Quatre has his place, and I wanted my own."

"Yeah, but he coulda made a place for you. Anyone can see that the two of you are _close_."

Trowa, uncharacteristically, blushed. "I didn't want to have my place 'made' for me, as you so eloquently put it. Besides, I knew you needed the help."

"Yeah, well, we're still short-handed, even with Q and his sisters helping out. If I had maybe one or two more people, we'd be about great." Duo sighed. _'Too bad Heero's not here. I wouldn't have any problems from those kids. One death glare and they'd be perfect little angels.'_

"I agree. It would be nice if Heero or Wufei could help out."

"Stop reading my mind, Tro. That's creepy!" Before either of them could say anything else, the bell rang and they were swarmed with tiny bodies demanding their attention.

After getting the kids home, the five adults still there (Duo, Trowa, Quatre, Hilde and Cathy) separated the twenty children into small groups for help with homework and projects for school. When that was done, Duo and Trowa went and started dinner. Quatre, wisely, stayed as far from the kitchens as he could get when cooking time came around, because after his first time helping cook resulted in blowing out an oven, he'd been banned by Cathy. They'd all settled down for dinner and Duo had said grace when there was a knock on the outside door.

Jimmy, one of the older boys, jumped up from his place and ran to answer it, Trowa right behind him, hand reaching for the gun he no longer carried. The door opened and there was some talking going on with a voice that Duo thought he recognized but was reluctant to find out if his assumption was correct. He looked over at Quatre, who'd gone pale and quiet in the middle of a sentence, and felt his heart begin to race.

"Duo!" Jimmy yelled, green eyes sparkling with excitement as he ran back into the dining room. "There's this guy at the door asking for you! He seems to know Trowa too!"

Slowly, Duo rose from his chair and walked mechanically to the door to see his visitor, his steps moving in time to his heartbeat. His eyes grew large and his mouth dry as he stared at the man in the doorway. "Heero?"

TBC


	2. Hurt

**Title:** Starting Over

**Author: **Makoto Sagara  
><strong>Series:<strong> Gundam Wing  
><strong>Archive:<strong> , /makotosagara/, , , .com; anywhere else, please ask  
><strong>Category<strong>: Angst, Action

**Pairings:** 1+2+1, others unknown  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Shonen ai, language, angst, sap, Post-EW  
><strong>Disclaimers: <strong>I make no money, so suing is pointless. If you think I own GW, then you need to see someone. I have the number to a nice doctor... Oh, SALLY!

**Author's Notes: **The first chapter was so fun that I had to continue! But, I *am* making an effort to not let this interfere with my other stuff. Enjoy! (Oh, the chapter names *are* the names of songs. Guess which bands!)

**Starting Over, Chapter 2 – Hurt**

Heero looked up as he heard the smooth baritone that he'd nearly forgotten because he'd spent the last year with the screaming dead. Duo stood with the light behind him, making his features blurry, but his familiar braid was longer than he remembered and those expressive eyes that had made the former Wing pilot question his life were wide with surprise. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "Duo, you look good."

With no warning, his arms were full of the braided man, who was hugging him as if his life depended on it. "Heero, oh my god, where have you been? We searched everywhere for you. I bribed people I don't even want to think about for information about you, and still got nothing. Quatre hired private detectives. Trowa looked himself! Wufei even hacked into hospital records all over the Earth Sphere. We were so worried!"

"Duo," Trowa said, his voice finally recovered from his initial shock, "let Heero inside and sit down. _Then,_ you can question him all you want." The tall European looked up and saw they had more company. "Besides, I'm sure that Quatre has some questions for our friend here."

Duo let go of Heero as if burned and turned, smacking his friend with his braid, to see twenty-three pairs of expectant eyes taking in the spectacle. "Oh, yeah, um, well, everybody, this is our friend, Heero. I told you about him. He's back from a really long trip." Duo's face flushed as he babbled - a trait that Heero had nearly forgotten as well. "How about we eat dinner and as a treat we'll have ice cream for dessert?"

That set the children off in a bout of cheering and the smaller ones wrapped their arms around his legs, all chattering about their favorite kinds. He led the children back into the dining room, with Cathy and Hilde exchanging glances before following them as well. Quatre and Trowa remained, sharing a look before the blond nodded.

"Why don't you actually come inside, Heero? It's a little nippy at night, even here on L2," Trowa said, closing the door as the Japanese man silently obeyed.

"It's nice to see you again, Heero. You look…" Quatre looked his friend over carefully and faltered, his diplomatic background failing him miserably.

"I'm tired, Quatre, but otherwise fine," Heero replied, setting the duffle bag with his things down on the floor next to his feet. "I found out that Trowa and Duo started this orphanage and thought I'd see how you all were doing?"

The blond's aqua eyes narrowed in skepticism, but he stayed quiet. "I'm visiting, again, to help out. Occasionally, my sisters 'that aren't mommies', as Duo says, come and help out. I think a few are thinking of adopting, but mostly it's just to help Duo and Trowa with things."

"Aa," Heero replied. "The outside looks pretty bad, but it's nice in here."

"Yes, well, we try to have one of the chores the children have on the weekends be cleaning the yard and planting a vegetable garden, but the neighborhood's been taken over by a gang recently," Trowa said, his green eyes sweeping over their no longer missing friend, obviously taking inventory of his condition. "If you're hungry, there's plenty for you as well, and we didn't let Quatre cook."

"You're never going to let me live that one down, are you, Trowa?" the blond whined playfully. "I replaced the oven and had the meals around here catered for a week to pay you back!"

"I don't think I want to know," Heero said. "But I'll take you up on your offer, Trowa. It's been a while since I had a home-cooked meal." He followed the two men through a large sitting room that was littered with toys and books and other things and into a large dining room. He nearly walked out when he saw the twenty excited children and the three adults sitting there, talking, joking, laughing, and eating in a sort of chaos that made his ears ring.

"It takes a while, but you get used to it," Trowa said before going back to his deserted place.

"Duo and the others work really hard to make this run smoothly," Quatre said, looking around the room with a warm smile. "WEI and a few other friends, like Relena and Howard, donate money to help with finances, but most of the money is put up by Duo and Trowa from the funds we all lifted from OZ accounts." The blond leaned in close. "Wufei even sends money monthly and visits in his Preventers uniform when he's in the area."

"Hn," Heero answered, making his way to the table and staggering when Duo grabbed his arm and pulled him onto the bench between the braided man and Trowa. From seemingly nowhere, a plate, silverware and a glass were passed down the table to Heero's place and he was soon enjoying the food with the rest of them.

Duo was cleaning up the mess from dinner with the Cathy and Hilde when the two women began to drill him. "I thought you guys couldn't find him," Cathy said as she wiped down the stove.

"We couldn't," Duo answered as he handed a clean plate to Hilde for her to rinse and dry. "We looked everywhere."

"Well, I'm glad that he's here," Hilde said. "Maybe he can help around here for a while. Lord knows we need it."

"Yeah, Brian, Jimmy, Gus and Craig need something to do while the rest of us are dealing with the smaller kids. Besides, Samantha and Christina are going to need female help soon, and we can't do that if we're dealing with Sonny and Mark teasing Fatima and Rachael," Cathy added.

"Yeah," Duo replied, his mind a million miles away. _'Where could he have been? I mean, we *looked*. Everywhere. Multiple times.'_ "Look, I'll ask him if he wants to say, but we can't start building expectations now that he's turned up."

"Oh, I think he'll say yes if you ask, Duo," Hilde teased, causing her friend to turn to her in a state. "Don't look at me like that, Duo Maxwell! I saw the way he was staring at you throughout dinner. I'd say there's a reason he came here."

"Whatever," the man muttered, handing her the last plate and draining his side of the sink. "I gotta go check on the guys in the living room. Besides, I do believe it's bath time for the smaller kids." The girls groaned and finished up what they were doing.

"When did you get so responsible, Duo?" Cathy asked as she hung up her dishrag. "Trowa used to tell me such interesting stories about your antics during the war. Now, you're kinda boring!"

"Gotta grow up sometime, Cathy." He nearly skipped out of the kitchen and was brought to a halt at the sight of Heero playing with some of the younger children at building a Lego castle. The Japanese man was smiling in a way that made his heart ache and a few times, when Mark or Sonny knocked over a part they were supposed to be constructing, he laughed as hard as they did.

Quatre looked up from the book he was reading to a few of the girls and cut his eyes over to where the Wing pilot was before smiling and returning to his own duty of the evening. Trowa also stole a few glances from the couch where he was playing video games with the older kids at Heero, bemused amazement written all over his face. Duo smiled before a thought came to him.

"Shit!" Suddenly he had twenty four pairs of eyes on him.

"Aw, Duo said a bad word," one of the girls, a little black haired girl with mix-matched eyes, said. "You gotta put a cred in the swear jar now!"

"Sheesh, sorry, Becky!" He pulled out his wallet, and dropped a bill into a large jar, nearly full, labeled "DUO'S SWEAR JAR". "Q, Tro, come here a sec," he said after doing so. The two men got up from their respective places and followed the braided man out into the hallway.

"What is it, Duo?" Quatre asked. "Something wrong?"

"'Fei! He's supposed to be going out, during his vacation that Une is forcing him to take, to search the hospitals on L1," Duo said in a rush. "Do either of you have his personal com number?"

"I do," Trowa said, pulling out his cellphone and dialing. "Wufei, we found him."

"What?" Duo and Quatre could hear the Chinese man even without the speaker function on, but Trowa turned it on anyway. "Where?"

"He just turned up tonight before dinner, 'Fei," Duo answered, tugging nervously on his braid.

"Has he said where he's been the last year while the rest of us were growing ulcers looking for him?"

"We haven't had a chance to ask him yet, Wufei," Quatre replied.

"Humph, well, when he tells you, let him know that I'm coming there for a rematch, and I won't lose this time." Duo snickered.

"Why don't you just come to L2 and stay here for your vacation instead of staying at home and getting angrier?" Trowa offered. "We can have your regular room ready for you."

"I suppose that works. I'll be there in the afternoon," their friend said begrudgingly. "I'm guessing you want me to tell Une and Sally that Yuy finally turned up?"

"If you would, that would be wonderful," Quatre said. "We still need to tell Relena as well."

"Oh, joy. Please tell me that the Peacecraft woman will _not_ be visiting at the same time that I am."

"Hey, the last time she wasn't so bad," Duo reminded him. "She even refrained from telling you that you are uptight, which I still agree with."

"I'd shoot her if it wasn't illegal now…"

"It's always been illegal, 'Fei. We just care about that kind of stuff now."

"Whatever, Maxwell; I will be there tomorrow afternoon. I'll see you then."

"Night, 'Fei." "Good night, Wufei." "Later, Chang." Trowa hung up the phone and the three pilots exchanged looks. "Paper, Rock, Scissors?" Duo suggested. The other two nodded and Quatre swore when he lost to two papers against his rock.

"Fine! I'll call her," he snapped. "Isn't it bath time?"

"Yeah, and I expect you to put your cred in the jar, like a good boy," Duo teased as he and Trowa entered the large den area. They were surprised that only the children over the age of ten were still in the room, playing at their own activities in a well behaved manner. "What in the world happened and who are these kids?"

"Cathy and Hilde took the smaller children up to take baths before bed, and I was asked to keep an eye on the rest of them," Heero said quietly. "Where did Quatre go?"

"He has to make a call," Trowa said. "Boys, clean up your mess and go take your showers."

"You too, Sammy. Just because Trowa said 'boys' doesn't mean you're exempt," Duo added.

"But, Duo! You promised you'd braid my hair like yours tonight," the girl whined.

"Shower first, then I'll do your hair," he conceded. The girl whooped in joy and then ran out of the room, leaving the three men alone.

"Heero, do you have someplace to stay?" Duo asked, fidgeting with his braid as he sat down in a chair.

"I hadn't really thought about that, to be honest. I just wanted to see how you were." The Japanese man's voice sounded uncomfortable.

"Well, Duo and I would like for you to stay here. I think the room next to yours is free, right, Duo?" Trowa asked casually.

'_What are you up to, Barton?'_ "Uh, yeah, even with 'Fei and Q staying, that room is pretty much always unoccupied…"

"Wufei's coming here?" Heero looked at Duo, his blue eyes shining with what could only be described as excitement.

"Yeah, tomorrow," the American answered, starting to fidget with his braid more under Heero's stare. "Do you, uh, want me to show you to your room now then?" He waited by the door as Heero retrieved his forgotten duffle bag and then headed for a door at the end of the hall. _'I want to ask him where the hell he's been this last year, but he just feels so different… And around those kids... God, I've never seen him smile and laugh like that. He was a different person… Okay, theory number one, the real Heero was abducted by aliens and they left this pod person. Theory number two, J secretly implanted a personality into Heero while he was missing and then was… Wait, no, that can't be it. J is just too damn creepy for something like that. Okay, I'm out of ideas then.'_

"This place is pretty large for an orphanage," Heero said, looking around as they went up two flights of stairs.

"Yeah, Q found us an abandoned hotel that had held out pretty well, despite the neighborhood. Tro and I spent a few months fixing the place up. Then, we had to go through about a zillion inspections to get approval. To be honest, we've only been operational for the last four months."

"It's so like you to want to run an orphanage."

Duo spun around on the stair he was on to face the other man, who stopped and grabbed the bannister so he didn't fall. "Where have you been the last year? Do you have any idea how worried we were? How worried I was? Do you care?" He could feel his fists clenching and unclenching as they stood there, looking at one another.

Heero's blue eyes seemed as if they were searching for something as he looked at Duo, and it took everything the braided man had not to begin shivering under that familiar and strange stare. "No, Duo, I didn't think any of you would worry. I'm sorry," Heero finally said quietly.

Duo blinked rapidly as he tried to process what just happened. _'Heero just… apologized. Okay, yeah, definitely a pod person.'_ Sighing, he unclenched his fists and turned back around. "Your room is going to be next to mine. There's a bathroom on the other side of your room. There's a kitchen area across the hall. Trowa and Quatre are a few doors down, and Cathy and Hilde are on the other side of my room and a bathroom." He stopped in front of a door and opened it. "I'll see you in the morning."

Heero looked in the room and then back at his friend, his face a mix of questioning wonder and tight control. "Duo… I…"

"Hm?" The American was trying so hard not to begin asking questions again, but he was holding onto his control so well that his forearms were bunching and unbunching without him noticing.

"Good night."

"Yeah, night, 'Ro." Duo turned on his feet and went to his room, shutting the door and sliding down it as he breathed deeply. _'Father, I think this is one of those be careful what you ask for situations.'_ He bit his lip nervously as he relaxed his body. _'Please, help me…'_

TBCe Hw3


	3. Crashing Down

**Title:** Starting Over

**Author: **Makoto Sagara  
><strong>Series:<strong> Gundam Wing  
><strong>Archive:<strong> , /makotosagara/, , , .com; anywhere else, please ask  
><strong>Category<strong>: Angst, Action

**Pairings:** 1+2+1, others unknown  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Shonen ai, language, angst, sap, Post-EW  
><strong>Disclaimers: <strong>I make no money, so suing is pointless. If you think I own GW, then you need to see someone. I have the number to a nice doctor... Oh, SALLY!

**Author's Notes: **Hm, this story is actually trying to write itself and is taking over. My poor, poor other fics are starting to cry from neglect. I mean two chapters in less than twenty-four hours? I *did* manage to finish chapters of the other fics as well, but that's not the point! Oh well, so long as Neko, who is a big brat, isn't trying to kill me with her muse-y type powers, I'm okay. Right?

**Starting Over, Chapter 3 – Crashing Down**

Heero looked around the room that Duo left him in and sighed. The only furniture was a bed, nightstand, a small chest of drawers, and a chair in one of the corners. He set his duffle bag in the chair and opened it, retrieving his longtime friend - his laptop - and sat down on the bed. While he waited for the computer to start up, he carefully untied and removed his boots. _'I'll have to buy more clothes if I plan on being anywhere for a long period of time. Maybe I can borrow a vehicle and go buy some…'_

A beep let him know that his laptop was ready. He typed in his password and waited patiently for his desktop to load. When that was done, he opened his email program, downloading all the emails he'd missed from over the last year. Many of them were from the other pilots, and a few were from Relena. He quickly read through them all, wincing as the tone in the messages became more frantic or, in Duo's case, angry. _'I should have thought of that in the beginning. He kept saying that we were best friends, and I just up and disappeared without a word for a year.'_

Instead of deleting the emails from Duo, he saved them, making sure to rid his inbox of the other messages. He debated whether or not to actually answer one of the messages from Relena and sighed, knowing he probably should. With an eye roll, he hit 'new message' and began typing up a quick message. "Relena, I am back. I needed to take a break. I'm currently on L2 with Duo and Trowa. ~ Heero"

He looked over the short letter and grimaced. It was curt and felt forced. Of course, he really wasn't used to 'friendly correspondence', but in this case, it was probably necessary. With that done, he closed his computer and sat back on the bed. _'At some point, I will have to tell Duo and the others where I have been. I suppose that I can do that while Wufei is here and save myself from having to explain it more than once. I can do this, can't I?'_

Duo was in bed, staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. _'How in the hell am I supposed to get any rest when _he_ is in the room next door? He isn't even the same? I wonder what happened… Hell, I want to know where the hell he has been this last year! I thought I was going to go bald from the stress. Tro always told me that he might just show up, but I think he was as surprised as I was that Heero was standing there tonight.'_ He sighed heavily, sitting up. _'I'm not going to sleep. Might as well take a shower.'_

He stood, stripped, and put on his robe. He opened the door and looked in the hallway, listening. He could hear Hilde and Cathy down the hall, talking in Hilde's room. Trowa and Quatre's rooms were black, but he could also see a light on in the kitchen area across the hall. There was no sound coming from the room next to his. _'Heero must be asleep… I guess now's the best time for me to go.'_

No sooner had he stepped out into the hall when Quatre's blond head poked out of the kitchen. "Oh, Duo, I was just going to ask you a question." Light blue eyes took in his attire. "But, you, um, seem about to take a shower."

"I can still answer a question, Quat. Sup?"

"Has he told you anything yet?" Duo shook his head and the other man sighed. "Alright, I guess we'll just have to wait until he does. Good night."

"Night." Duo poked his head into the kitchen. "Night, Tro. Try to get some sleep. Looooooooooong day tomorrow." He heard the taller man wish him a good night and scampered into the bathroom without any more interruptions.

Duo's alarm went off the next morning and he groaned. _'Another day with the kids… Oh, shit, Heero's here.'_ That thought had him jumping from bed and scrambling for clothes. _'Gotta hurry up and get started before I can't leave this room…'_

He flew into the kitchen area, amazed to see the other adults already up and wrapped around coffee cups in comfortable silence. Cathy and Hilde raised eyebrows at him in amusement, while Quatre and Trowa both seemed on the verge of outright laughing. Heero gave a faint smile before he went back to staring at the coffee mug in his hands. "What?" Duo asked as he glided between Trowa and Cathy's tall, lanky frames to get to the pot of lifeblood.

"Oh, nothing," Quatre said smugly. "It's just not like you to be so… energetic… this early in the morning."

Duo felt his cheeks flush and refused to turn around. Carefully, he poured the coffee into the cup and made a production of putting sugar and cream in it. "So, when is 'Fei showing up?" He was proud that his voice hadn't cracked.

"He's going to call before his shuttle lands and I'll go get him," Quatre answered. "Sadly, I can't stay, but Anita, Meena, and Sanima are supposed to be coming in today to help."

"Actually, that's good news," Trowa said casually. "With Wufei showing up, we'll need extra hands to watch the kids so we can clean up properly. And since it is Saturday, maybe they can take them to the museum or something like that."

"Yeah, it's not like we can't fund a field trip with the proceeds from Duo's Swear Jar," Hilde added carefully.

"Yeah, yeah," Duo replied snarkily. "Did you put your cred in as well, Q-man?"

Five sets of eyes turned to the blond, who flushed and nodded. "Of course. Oh! That reminds me. Relena said she'd like to talk to you, Duo, when you got a chance, but not to rush."

"Wonderful," he drawled, taking a large drink from his mug and coughing on the hot liquid when Heero's dark eyes looked at him questioningly. "Don't ask." He felt the blood rush to his cheeks as the other four smiled knowingly at him before walking out of the kitchen.

"Don't rush, Duo," Cathy said happily. "We'll take care of the kids for now. You just… talk with Heero."

"Are they normally like that?" Heero asked with his voice laced with what Duo could only place as amazement.

"Not all the time, but when they do, it gets old quick," Duo answered as he sat at the table, opposite from the Japanese man. He snuck glances at his friend over his coffee cup, which he was using as a sort of shield for his face. The other man was still slim, as they all were, but it looked as if he'd gotten taller and his jaw seemed squarer that Duo remembered. However, after several painful minutes of silence, dark blue eyes snapped to his face and held his gaze.

"Duo…"

"Hm." The American swore as his voice cracked on that one syllable. _'I sound like an idiot. Where is that hole that is supposed to open up and swallow me whole?'_

"I…" Heero shook his head, and his brown hair swept back and forth across his forehead. "Thanks for letting me stay here last night."

"Yeah, no problem, Heero," Duo answered absently while his eyes watched the other man's hair move. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Duo cleared his throat and closed his eyes to gather his thoughts and courage to ask what needed to be asked. "How… how long do you think you're gonna stay, 'Ro?"

The Japanese man was silent for a while, causing Duo to open his eyes and look at his friend. He was surprised to see that Heero's cheeks were sporting small pink spots. _'He's BLUSHING? What the hell?'_

"I was hoping… that I could stay… for a while," was the answer he finally gave. Duo nodded, a warm feeling gathering in his chest.

"Yeah, no problem; I only asked because the 'officials' get antsy when Quatre and Wufei stay for very long." The American paused in thought. "I guess we could have you fill out some paperwork as a temporary worker, just in case, so they don't get their knickers in a twist."

"Knickers?" Heero's mouth twisted into a tiny smile, and Duo just shrugged.

"Yeah, when things are slow, I watch movies with Cathy and Hilde. They've got this thing for pre-colony British films. They're good." Duo's smile faded as he braced himself to ask the next question. "I have to ask, Heero. Where have you been this past year?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." Heero's voice was stern and his eyes hard.

"Sorry, bud, that's not going to work this time." Duo said, putting his coffee cup in the sink before standing in front of Heero and glaring down at him. "This time, you're going to have to come clean and let me know. Otherwise, you'll have to leave."

Heero blinked at the harshness of Duo's tone and words. _'I've never heard him or expected him to sound like that. Why can't he just… Oh. I see. Yes, I guess I should have seen that then.'_ He leaned back in his chair to look directly into the other man's violet eyes. "Duo, I'll tell you, but not right now. Can it wait until Wufei is here and I can tell you all at the same time?"

His friend backed up and nodded curtly. "I won't accept anything other than the truth, Heero," Duo said coldly as he left the room. Heero waited until he could hear footsteps stomping down to the lower floors of the orphanage before he placed his head on top of folded arms. _'What have I done to him?'_

Quatre's sisters arrived with much fanfare from the children, especially when Duo and Trowa let them all know that they were going out on a field trip, with the money from Duo's Swear Jar, and that Wufei would be at the orphanage when they returned. Hilde left with them to drive the bus so that the men and Cathy could stay to clean. With all the children gone, the old hotel was eerily quiet and every sound was magnified ten times until a single step seemed like an army stomping throughout the halls.

Duo was careful to assign Heero in rooms away from himself, if only so that he wouldn't be distracted and could think without the other man's brooding presence. Trowa and Cathy cleaned in the kitchen and dining room, getting the most of the week's buildup of grime and dust out of the corners that didn't get cleaned during the nightly wipe downs. Heero was put in charge of the living room and the front sitting room (which used to be the lobby area). Duo took the bathrooms and hallways. It was honest work and left him plenty of time to think without any distractions.

After about an hour of the deafening silence, Cathy bellowed that she was putting on music to get rid of the creepy feeling, and soon the building's sound system was quietly playing Chopin and Beethoven. Duo smiled a little and began to hum along as he wiped down baseboards and pushed the vacuum over the carpets. However, the calm and friendly atmosphere disappeared when a rock came sailing through a window next to Duo, a shard of the glass leaving a large gash on his right cheek. As a hand flew up to his face, he could hear a voice yelling at the building "Go away, homos, and stop trying to get my people in there!"

He turned to hear the other three running in his direction, Cathy coming to a halt many yards before reaching him and gasping. Heero and Trowa continued up to him, the former wrenching his hand away to assess the damage, Duo numbly guessed. Trowa watched their friend with one eye and looked at the damage with his other. "Who was it?"

"It was probably the new leader of Las Cucarachas, Tro. You know that Officer Meyers warned Hilde last week about the change," the American answered, hissing as Heero's probing fingers hit an extremely painful part of his new cut. "It's gonna scar, isn't it?"

The Japanese man's head snapped up, eyes burning with a cold fury that both scared and excited Duo. "Not if we take care of it now. I'm only worried about infection. Do you have supplies here to take care of this?"

Trowa snickered. "Of course we do, Heero. Did you honestly just ask that question?" Before the other man could react, Trowa turned to the shocked Cathy and shook her by the shoulders gently. "Cathy, go get the medical kit and call the local police station. Ask for Officer Meyers." He waited until she nodded before letting her go.

"God, this was the last way I thought we'd be spending this day," Duo muttered, shaking Heero's trembling hands away from his wounded face. "Dammit! I just vacuumed this hallway and now there's glass fucking everywhere!"

"That's two credits in your swear jar, Duo," Trowa said, all humor at the situation gone as he took in the damage. "It would have to have been the picture window, right?"

"I always wondered who the hell puts a picture window anywhere on L2, and now I see that it's only an idiot." Duo sighed and moved a few feet down the hall to sit down on the floor. "I don't feel so great now."

"I'll get you a towel," the green-eyed man said, sparing a concerned look for his friend. "Heero, stay here with Duo. I'll be right back."

"Who are the cockroaches?" Heero asked, his voice tight with anger.

'_Oh shit, I knew I forgot something!'_

TBC


	4. Getting Scared

**Title:** Starting Over

**Author: **Makoto Sagara  
><strong>Series:<strong> Gundam Wing  
><strong>Archive:<strong> , /makotosagara/, , , .com; anywhere else, please ask  
><strong>Category<strong>: Angst, Action

**Pairings:** 1+2+1, others unknown  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Shonen ai, language, angst, sap, Post-EW  
><strong>Disclaimers: <strong>I make no money, so suing is pointless. If you think I own GW, then you need to see someone. I have the number to a nice doctor... Oh, SALLY!

**Author's Notes: **I fought and fought and fought with my muses over the fact that they became lazy bums…. And then I gave up when Angel gave me Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy fics to read. Then, I was engrossed in something much more profitable. However, I'm done with them, and now Neko is DEMANDING that I begin writing again. She even went so far as to sharpen her claws on my bedside table. So, in order to avoid death, I write! Enjoy! 3

**Starting Over, Chapter 4 – Getting Scared**

"Who are the cockroaches?" Heero asked, his voice tight with anger. He watched as the American's eyes widened in a look of panic and could feel the beginnings of a tension headache build behind his forehead. "What is it, Duo?"

"Nothing, 'Ro, but a long story that I really don't feel like going into right now." A pale hand ghosted up to the bleeding gash on his cheek and Heero could almost hear the way the other man's stomach turned. "'Fei kept telling me that it was such a bad idea to have that window there, but it was just so pretty."

Heero nodded stiffly before he crouched before Duo, moving the hand to not make the wound worse. "Who are they?"

"A gang… They call themselves _Los Chupacabras_ after that legend from North America, but they're cockroaches. It's why Tro and I call 'em _Las Cucarachas_. To their face most of the time too…"

"Witty," Heero bit out as he squeezed the braided man's hand. "Who came up with that? Trowa?"

"Oh, funny; I did, I'll have you know."

"Why did they do this? What did they mean about stop trying to get their people in here?"

"Ugh," Duo replied as he leaned his head against the wall. "This is their territory. Trowa and I have been trying to get a lot of the younger kids off the streets, reform 'em, give 'em a chance to turn their lives around before they do something stupid. But, their old leader, who mainly just stuck to trashing the grounds and stealing the engine blocks from our vehicles, was murdered last month by a rival gang. Guess the new one isn't as happy with the previous arrangements."

They both looked up as Trowa returned with a white medical kit in his hand and a pinched look on his face. "What?" Heero asked as he took the kit and began to gently clean Duo's face.

"They've spray painted the front with disgusting graffiti." The pause was alive with something left unsaid, and they all knew it. No one said anything and Trowa heaved a large sigh. "And they've set the bushes out front on fire."

Duo hissed, and the sound forced Heero to look at what his hands were doing. The area around the cut was white under his fingertips, where the American's face wasn't still coated with blood. Guiltily, Heero released his hold, wiping the crimson liquid on his fingers onto his pants. With extra care, Heero had the wound cleaned and dressed, a flesh coloured bandage hiding most of the damage.

"All done?" Duo asked softly. His eyes had closed, and Heero was having trouble telling what emotion was playing on the other man's features. It seemed that Duo was still wearing his masks well, and he'd been gone too long to read what was behind them.

"Yes, you are done, for now," Heero replied slowly. His throat constricted at the sad, small smile Duo gave him before he pulled back. He needed to get away from him, right now, and do something with all of his excess energy – like hunt down the bastard that dared to hurt _his_… friend.

"Duo, Officer Myers is downstairs, if you're ready to talk to him," Cathy said. Her voice was startling, and all three men turned quickly to look at her. She was wearing a worried look as she watched them, but wisely, she'd chosen to stay several feet away before speaking.

"Thanks, Cath," Duo answered, pulling himself up and heading downstairs with her.

Heero watched him go, wanting to do nothing more than secret him away into a very secluded room and keep him safe and knowing that Duo was more than capable of doing that himself. The Japanese man's temper flared as he remembered the shocked look on Duo's face as they all arrived after the incident. He turned to Trowa abruptly, a plan starting in his mind to make sure that those creeps paid dearly. "Tell me where to find them, Trowa."

Duo sighed as he watched the police officers leave the orphanage, two hours later. He was tired, dirty, and his face ached. And, still, Wufei had yet to arrive. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed and forget this day even happened. _'The only good thing about this day was the way that Heero touched me while he dressed my wound,'_ Duo thought morosely. _'And if that doesn't prove that there's something wrong with me, I don't know what will.'_

A sudden noise made him turn, and he could see Hilde flopped gracelessly into one of the many armchairs in the living room. "Duo, where are Heero and Trowa? I haven't seen them in hours and with the kids soon to arrive, and Chang as well, we're going to need the help."

"I dunno, Hill. Have you asked Cath?" God, he sounded like he was ready to drop.

"God, you sound worse than you look," Hilde said sweetly, her blue eyes shining in humor. His answer was a rude hand gesture that wouldn't result in losing money to that damned Swear Jar. "Look, I'm sure Cath has that mess up on the third floor cleaned up, and the repair company will be here in a little bit too, since you and Trowa managed to get some stupidly awesome insurance on the building. Why don't you go take a shower and a nap? I'll come get you when Chang gets here, okay?"

Duo eyed the German woman carefully, wondering if there was some hidden meaning behind what she was saying, but then deciding he didn't really care if there was. It had been a year since he'd had any major injuries and he just wasn't used to it anymore. Besides, the last twenty-four hours had been emotionally charged and he hadn't had time to fully adjust to the situation yet. _'Not to mention that you've never dealt well with Heero touching you so intimately.'_

Deciding that there were no ulterior motives for his dismissal, Duo carefully dragged his tired body to the bathroom between his and Heero's rooms, determined to act as if nothing happened. The hot water soothed his jangled nerves and helped to leech the last of his worry away, and soon he was in bed, lightly dozing. However, it was short lived.

"Where is he?" A familiar voice yelled near his door. "I will personally murder him!"

Sure enough, when Duo looked out into the hall, he was greeted by the sight of a fuming Chinese man, whose normally meticulous hair was falling out of its ponytail. "Hey, 'Fei, you just get in?"

"Maxwell, where is he?"

"Yeah, nice to see you too," Duo responded sarcastically. "And I'm guessing you're getting pissy about Heero, but I don't know."

His friend seemed to stop as he talked and was staring at him uncomfortably. "What happened to your face? Did Yuy do that?"

"Don't be stupid, Wufei," Trowa said. Duo looked behind the shorter man and saw his partner-in-masochism standing behind their friend. "You saw the graffiti and the boarded up window. Use that vast intelligence you normally lord over Duo."

"Ancestors!" Wufei's face went from mildly annoyed to royally pissed off in record time. "_They_ did this to you? How?"

"Lobbed a rock through that beautiful picture window you hated so much."

"I _told_ you it was a liability, but you didn't listen to me."

"And you know why I disregarded your 'advice'," Duo snapped back. He could feel a headache building, and he wasn't in any mood to deal with one of Wufei's hissy fits. "Trowa, where are the kids?"

"I had Quatre's sisters drop them off around the back. They're currently testing out some science experiments with close adult supervision."

"Meaning you left the kids with all the girls out back so that they could destroy something while Wufei went yelling his head off in about five different languages?"

"Precisely." Duo snorted as Wufei glared ineffectually at the taller man. "And as to where Heero is, I think I have a vague idea."

Heero glared at the rundown building in front of him. All of the windows were boarded up, but it still reminded him of the department store it was supposed to have been, probably twenty years ago. The exterior was covered with gang tags of varying offensive natures, and people came and went as they pleased. He figured that most of those people were gang members between the ages of ten and twenty, almost all male. Except for the few females, who all appeared to be prostitutes... _'This is what happens to kids on L2. I never thought that it would be so bad, no matter the stories I heard from Duo and J.'_

The main members of the gang all sat around one male in particular, a black kid who appeared to be roughly Heero's age and every distinguishing characteristic covered in tattoos. The others were a mixture of Caucasian, Hispanic and Black, and they were dressed alike, even down to the teardrop tattoos under the left eye.

'_Fifteen members and three females… six in the inner circle… four exits from the main room and the stairs appear to be in working order to the second floor…'_ He quickly scanned and processed the enemy terrain like he had during the wars and sighed. _'I could take out the entire building with a few explosives, but the collateral damage would include the surrounding buildings and some innocent people. It's difficult to conclude who is guilty of anything other than joining this particular gang to avoid the others and for camaraderie… Except for the inner circle…' _A very faint smile turned up the corners of his mouth. _'I'll have to gather more data before I can act,'_ he decided, quietly making his way out of the alley and into the main road.

He glanced at his watch and grimaced when he noticed that he'd been gone from the orphanage for over three hours. Doubtless, by this time, Wufei had arrived and caused some sort of scene. As much as he respected the Chinese man's skills as a warrior, Heero really didn't want to hear his mouth. He doubted that even a year as a Preventer calmed down his temper. _'Probably not if he's working for Une,'_ he thought with a sadistic smile. _'Well, let me get this over with. There's no reason to keep Duo worrying any more than he already is.'_

Duo sighed as he helped put the last of that night's dinner on the table. All the children were on their best behaviour - as if they knew something was wrong. The older children had been oddly subdued when they returned from their trip and saw the outside of their home and the gash on Duo's face. The younger children were too excited to see their "Uncle Wufei" to understand what was really going on, and Duo didn't have the heart to make so many small faces fall and crumple in terror.

"Duo," one of the older boys, Brian, said. "Where did Heero go? He promised to show us," he indicated Jimmy, Gus and Craig, "how to write our own computer programs."

Duo looked up and shared brief looks with the other adults. Green eyes, two pair that were alarmingly the same shade, bored into his face, while blue eyes narrowed suspiciously. However, it was Wufei's liquid black eyes that made him the most uncomfortable. "Brian, there was an incident today with the cockroaches down the road. He went to go check it out, I suppose."

"Oh," Samantha said, putting an arm around one of the younger girls, Nelia, who sat next to her. "But, why wouldn't he let Officer Meyers do that? That's his job, right?"

"Because Yuy believes that he is the best man for every situation that shows itself," Wufei said, dripping disdain from his voice.

"He usually is," Hilde replied harshly.

"Well, not this time," Cathy added. "Come on, kids. Eat up and after dinner, you can watch movies."

The rest of their meal, none of which Duo remembered afterwards, passed by in total and utter silence. Just as the children began shifting in their seats, the American looked up at his charges. "Stay off the third floor. In the morning, that big window is going to be fixed, and we don't need any of you walking around here with scars. Mine is enough." He received eighteen hesitant nods and two large smiles – enough to let him know that Aaron and Megan, the youngest of their charges at eighteen months and twenty months respectively, were acknowledging his voice if nothing else – and sighed. He suddenly felt _much_ older than his eighteen years.

"Did Heero ever tell you where he went or what he's been doing for the whole time he's been gone?" Trowa asked quietly after some minutes.

"No, he said he'd wait until Wufei was here to spill the beans."

"But, Duo, if Heero spills the beans, who has to clean them up," Duncan, a bright and inquisitive seven year old, asked.

"He will, kiddo," Hilde answered. "Now, why don't you monsters go ahead to the TV room and pick out a movie?" All but the two youngest rushed out of the room, and they were taken out of the room by Cathy and Hilde.

"I don't know, 'Fei, so asking me again and again isn't going to do anything but make me want to blow up your bed," Duo said tired as he noticed his friend getting ready to open his mouth. A raised eyebrow was the only answer he got before he processed what he'd said. "You know what I mean. I still have explosives that could make your life very difficult if you piss me off enough."

"That's good to know, Duo," Heero said as he entered the room, covered head to toe in dirt and grime, but a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Let me get cleaned up and then I'll tell you what I found out during my little reconnaissance trip today."

TBC


	5. Not Enough

**Title:** Starting Over

**Author: **Makoto Sagara  
><strong>Series:<strong> Gundam Wing  
><strong>Archive:<strong> , /makotosagara/, , , .com; anywhere else, please ask  
><strong>Category<strong>: Angst, Action

**Pairings:** 1+2+1, others unknown  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Shonen ai, language, angst, sap, Post-EW, Episode Zero story spoilers  
><strong>Disclaimers: <strong>I make no money, so suing is pointless. If you think I own GW, then you need to see someone. I have the number to a nice doctor... Oh, SALLY!

**Author's Notes: **I know that everyone was confused as to what happened in the third chapter, and I hope that last chapter helped dispel some worries that might have lingered. If not, I'm here to listen, and if there's anything specific you want to see, I'm open to suggestions. ^^

**Starting Over, Chapter 5 – Not Enough**

Heero showered quickly, knowing that he had a lot to answer for, between the year he spent away without any contact and his sudden disappearing act that day. However, he had a _plan_, of sorts. Yes, it would work. If he could just keep Wufei from shooting him. Or Duo. It was a toss-up over who was going to kill him first. Of course, he could be wrong and it could be Quatre. Although, the blond would have to come back to L2 to take him out. He was safe from that corner for the moment.

'_I'm only delaying the inevitable confrontation, which isn't something I normally do,'_ he thought calmly. _'What is it that Dr. Shaw told me two weeks before I was released? I think it was something about learning more normal reactions to situations, instead of following on my training… I didn't think it would have happened this quickly, and certainly not like this.'_

The orphanage was oddly silent as Heero made his way down to the TV room where everyone had gathered the night before. All of the children, aside from the two youngest, were staring aptly at the television, where a movie featuring talking animals was playing. When he entered, the five adults looked up, but Cathy and Hilde's attention went back to the children and the television.

Duo, Trowa and Wufei all stood, the braided man directing them into the kitchen. Heero followed them, wondering why he felt like he was about to be questioned within an inch of his life. "Cathy and Hilde aren't joining us for this?" he asked, only vaguely curious.

"I'll tell them later," Duo answered carefully.

"Ah… So, what do you want to know first?"

"First of all, where were you for over a year?" Wufei shouted. His anger had twisted his normally blank face into a very unattractive scowl. "We searched everywhere for you and found nothing."

"That was sort of the whole point of my disappearance," Heero said with a huge sigh. He moved over to the counter near the sink and hopped up to sit on it. "I don't know much about how the rest of you were trained, but, from what I understand, J's training was extreme. Before he found me, I traveled with a hired killer, Odin Lowe."

"Isn't that the name of the man who assassinated the real Heero Yuy?" Duo asked.

"Yes. When he died, J showed up and took me away. I think it was three months after that when my training began." Heero shrugged, ignoring the looks on Duo and Wufei's faces. "I believe I was approximately seven at the time."

Trowa had been oddly blank during the time Heero was talking, and he shrugged at the end. "We all have out tragic pasts, Heero, but what does your story have to do with why you disappeared?"

"I'm getting to that part, Trowa," Heero said evenly. "From that point on, I was no longer raised, but brought up as a soldier… J referred to me as his Perfect Soldier. I remained like that until the time I met Duo and Relena." He smiled, his blue eyes latching onto Duo's face, which was slowly turning a soft pink color.

"Well, that explains your ultra-friendly personality when we first met," Duo said, looking away quickly. "Still doesn't explain what you did though."

"I'm getting there," the former Wing pilot replied. "After the battle with Wufei and the Mariemaia army, I was tired. Not just physically, because sleep never seemed to be enough to get me back to fighting form, even though Relena and I had discussed her needing a bodyguard and me requiring a purpose outside of being a Gundam pilot.

"It was probably a week after we disposed of the Gundams that I just couldn't take it anymore. I buried all records of myself, changed my identity and disappeared. That, you all know already, since you spent so long looking for me. What you don't know is that I changed my name to Yuri Gregor and checked into St. Sebastian's Center for Mental Diseases on Earth."

"Hold on!" Duo walked up and stared directly into Heero's face, all traces of embarrassment replaced by nearly righteous fury. "You mean to tell me that while we were searching for your _ass_, you'd checked into a mental hospital? For a year?"

"Yes," Heero whispered, watching Trowa and Wufei as they exchanged glances before looking at Duo for his reaction.

"_Fuck you,_ Heero," Duo growled before punching the other man directly in the face and shattering his nose. "You two can deal with him. I don't care if he stays, but he needs to stay the _fuck_ away from me." And then, he stomped out of the kitchen and a few moments later his heavy footsteps could be heard on the stairs. He was followed by the smaller Chinese man, who didn't even bother to spare Heero with a glare or a friendly glance.

Heero, smartly, stayed in the kitchen, pinching his nose and tilting his head back to stem the flow of blood from his obviously broken nose. _'It's nice to know that he hasn't lost any of his strength in the last year,'_ he thought morosely. He was surprised when Trowa shoved a cloth in his line of sight and used it to mop up the blood dripping down his face.

"He'll get over it, I think," the green-eyed man offered after a few moments of silence.

"Yes, I suppose he will, but he, and you all, have the right to be upset."

"Do you think that letting all of us taking shots at you is going to make any of forgive you?"

"Wufei, possibly," Heero answered. Trowa snorted and gave him a small smile. "What about you?"

"Well, Heero, I was worried, but I also know that you're fully capable of handling yourself." The banged man shrugged. "I knew that you'd only be found when you wanted to be found. I tried to tell that to Quatre and Duo, but you're aware of how they are."

"And Quatre couldn't tell that I was okay by that empathy he has?"

"That's a nice way of putting it, but he knew you were physically fine. It wasn't enough for Duo and Relena. She was shrieking that we'd helped you escape from her offer of hiring you as the head of her security forces. Duo was ranting about how you were avoiding emotionally difficult situations and how Relena was a stupid girl and should just leave. Wufei glowered at her so much she left in tears and the only two she'll talk to are Quatre and myself."

"Why are you being so understanding, Trowa?"

"If anyone out of the four of us can understand you at all, I suppose it's me. Duo had his orphanage growing up and even the gang before and after that. Quatre's family, while a little unconventional, is rather normal for people of his class and religious background. Wufei's was rather normal as well, even if he won't admit it. As for me, we all know that I am not the real Trowa Barton. I grew up with mercenaries and did menial jobs for them until S found me and allowed me to be a mechanic while he was building Heavyarms. I was referred to as… I guess Nanashi is the closest thing in Japanese."

"No-name," Heero said tersely.

"Yes, that was me, until nearly the beginning of Operations Meteor. When the real Trowa Barton died, I took his place." He shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal to him, and maybe it wasn't. Heero wasn't sure that he cared either. "And I didn't really have much emotional contact with anyone, not even Quatre, really, until I met Cathy.

"She took me in as a little brother, didn't ask a lot of pesky questions, helped me out when I needed it, and she talked to the owner of the circus to let me join. She says that she had a brother that would be our age if he'd lived. Her family was attacked and she is the only known survivor. I've sometimes wondered if there's more to the story and I talked to Quatre about it. A DNA test was brought up, but I think it would get Cathy's hopes up too much and would depress her if she didn't get the results she was looking for. As it stands, we, Duo and Hilde are as much family as we all can be, and we're here for these children as well."

"Why are you sharing this, Trowa?"

"I'm trying to let you know that you're not the only one with issues." Trowa gave the Japanese man a small smile. "Besides, Duo doesn't hide his emotions as well as he thinks he does. The rest of us are aware of how he feels. The question is how do you feel?"

"I'm confused. I didn't come here after I was released from the hospital just to let you know that I was okay. I wanted to see him. Now, however, I'm thinking that perhaps I misjudged how welcome I would be."

"You're an idiot. He's just processing." The banged man sighed. "You know, I missed the days when it was you and Quatre who understood him the most." And with that, Heero was left on his own to work through his new information.

'_I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. How _could _he do this to me? I hate him!'_

"Maxwell, where in the hell are you going?" Duo jumped at the sound of Wufei's voice but let out a little relieved sigh at the fact that it wasn't Heero following him.

"I just had to get away, 'Fei. I couldn't stand looking at his face anymore."

"And so you had to break his nose? Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I find it an improvement and saves me the trouble of doing so myself." The Chinese man's thin lips twisted into a wry smile. "Besides, if I had done so, it would be seen as police brutality."

"Oh, well, can't have that, can we, 'Fei?"

"Not really. I do believe that Sally and Une would have my balls if I get written up for beating up a civilian, even if it is Yuy."

Duo sat down on the stairs and looked down at his friend. "How are the scary ladies?"

"Relieved now that they know that Yuy is alive and not really out starting some sort of revolution on his own." Wufei snorted and sat down next to Duo. "I wish there was some way to get things situated that didn't require me to not kill him."

"You don't really want to kill him, any more than I want him gone, 'Fei, and we both know it."

"True," Wufei answered, smiling again. "Although, I do owe him a defeat."

Duo shook his head ruefully. "You're never going to get over that, are you?"

"Not anytime soon, Duo. The only other person to defeat me is dead." Wufei's smiled died then. "And he was probably the most honourable opponent I've ever faced."

"Sorry, I don't do honour. I deal with stealth and explosions."

"Oh, you are still in the practice of blowing up military bases then?"

It was Duo's turn to smile. "Nah, but you can do some interesting things with toys nowadays. And the kids are amused. But, Cathy doesn't care too much for that. Hence why my stealth skills are still at peak."

Wufei laughed, hard and full, and the sound let Duo's shoulders relax. "Yes, well, women can be scary." He then let out a deep breath. "So, what are you going to do about Yuy?"

"What else _can_ I do, 'Fei? You know how I feel. Hell, everyone but Heero knows how I feel about him. 'Snot like I bothered to hide it during the last year looking for him."

"True, but that does not answer the question, Maxwell."

"I dunno yet. Like I said, he can stay, but if he causes any trouble, he's out. Trowa, the girls and I have put too much effort into making this place work to have Heero stroll in here and screw everything up."

"You're being decidedly grown up about this. I believe there is hope for you yet, Duo." Wufei scowled as the American hugged him tightly. "Has anyone told the Screeching One about Yuy's return?"

"Um, I think Quatre called her yesterday, but since she doesn't talk to us, I have no clue."

"Where is Winner, anyway? I thought he'd be here with you and Barton since Yuy's return."

"Had to go back to WEI business. Sent some of his sisters for a while, but you know how that works out." Duo shrugged and Wufei nodded sagely.

"Can we return now? I think you're calm enough to be around him, and if you can restrain yourself, so can I."

"I guess so," Duo sighed, pulling himself up to a standing position and heading down the stairs. The soft footfalls of Wufei could be heard behind him as they made their way into the TV room. The children all looked up at their entrance, but went back to watching the animated movie as soon as they recognized Duo and their Uncle Wufei.

Trowa stood off to the side with Cathy and Hilde, whispering. He was no doubt telling them all that happened in the kitchen between the four men and whatever else they wanted to know. Heero was looking in from the doorway of the kitchen, an almost lost look on his face. Duo, confused about everything, sighed before walking over to the Japanese man. "You didn't even have Tro set it for you? Are you some sort of masochist?" He looked over his shoulder at Wufei with a smile. "Could you get the first aid kit from under the sink and meet 'Ro and I in the dining room, 'Fei?"

"It would be my pleasure, Duo," Wufei responded happily, walking swiftly to fulfill the request.

"After you," Duo said, waving his hand in an overly exaggerated bow-like movement. Heero watched the braided man's face before nodding and heading into the other room. _'Once I fix your face, you're going to tell me the rest of this fucked up story, Heero.'_

TBC


	6. No More

**Title:** Starting Over

**Author: **Makoto Sagara  
><strong>Series:<strong> Gundam Wing  
><strong>Archive:<strong> fanfiction .net, afallenangel .net/makotosagara/, mediaminer .org, Foreverfandom .net, makochanupdates .livejournal .com; anywhere else, please ask  
><strong>Category<strong>: Angst, Action

**Pairings:** 1+2+1, others unknown  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Shonen ai, language, angst, sap, Post-EW, Episode Zero story spoilers  
><strong>Disclaimers: <strong>I make no money, so suing is pointless. If you think I own GW, then you need to see someone. I have the number to a nice doctor... Oh, SALLY!

**Author's Notes: **I got side-tracked! I'm sorry! Please don't kill me? *hides the HP Drarry fics she's working on* Um, I'm trying, kk?

**Starting Over, Chapter 6 – No More**

Heero blinked back tears as Duo none too carefully reset his nose and set a plaster bandage across it. He knew the other man wasn't being as gentle as he could be because he was still very angry with him, but the very fact that Duo was doing this let Heero know that there might still be a little hope left. He buried that hope in the back of his mind and tried to concentrate on what was going on around them.

Wufei and Trowa had taken seats on the other side of the large table in the orphanage's dining room and were speaking quietly to one another. Duo was sitting in front of him, his face a passive mask that showed just how upset he was. The women were still in the other room with the children, who were being oddly quiet. _'Now's usually the time when the other shoe drops,'_ he thought rationally.

"So, finish your story, Heero," Duo said calmly, scooting down the bench and leveling him with a hard glare. "Tell us why you decided that you had to disappear."

"Duo, you accused me so many times of being robotic during the wars that I was afraid that it was true," Heero answered calmly. "I never really learned to socialize. The rest of you had that, even if the environments were drastically different."

"And you didn't think that we could help you? That we'd understand?" Surprisingly, Wufei was the one who'd asked that question.

"I didn't really even think that you'd want to, Wufei. You were going to the Preventers. Trowa had Cathy and the circus. Duo told me he was coming to L2 to maybe set up a scrap yard with Hilde. Quatre had his sisters and WEI to run." Heero shrugged. "Besides, I really wasn't going to ask Relena to help me. It would have been a disaster. Even _I_ understood that."

"So, you checked yourself into a mental hospital," Duo muttered, fists clenching in front of him as if he wanted to take another shot at Heero. The Japanese man moved back a few inches, just in case.

"Yes, St. Sebastian's has a program for soldiers. It's basically behavioural reprogramming. Dr. Shaw is the leading expert in that field." Heero shrugged again. _'I guess that's another thing that I've picked up since going through Dr. Shaw's therapy.'_

"But why a year?" Trowa asked, sounding curious.

"Dr. Shaw actually recommended that I stay for longer than that, but I knew even a year would be a long time for all of you to think I was gone. If it hadn't worked as well as it had, I might have stayed longer, but I would have contacted someone to let them know what was going on."

"What I don't get is why you didn't just tell us, Heero," Duo said, his violet eyes staring accusingly. "_I_ would have understood, you know."

"I know that now, Duo." Heero reached one arm out to touch the American, but quickly drew it back when the other man's face shut down completely. "I knew I needed to go. I wasn't really thinking about how you would take it, truthfully."

"So, you subjected yourself to a year's worth of intensive behavioural therapy. And then what? You were cured and decided to…?"

"I wanted to see you, all of you, but you especially, Duo."

"Don't," Duo said roughly, standing up from the table and wrapping his arms around his chest. "Just stop, alright. I don't want to hear that crap."

"Maxwell, at least listen to the rest of Yuy's story," Wufei said calmly. To Heero's amazement, Duo turned back around and sat at the end of the table, as far away from Heero as he could get and his face was back to the utterly blank mask. "Continue, Yuy."

"I didn't really think things through, I see that now," Heero said quietly, trying to process why Duo had followed what the Chinese man had said without a pause. He felt something bubbling beneath the surface, an emotion he'd never experienced before. He couldn't name it. He hated it, and with it, he hated Wufei.

Duo listened with a half a mind to what Heero went through at the hospital. He was still hung up on the statement that he'd made about wanting to see him after his release. _'What the hell does that mean? Is he just saying this shit to make me not want to hit him again? If that's the case, I'm going to do more than just punch him.'_

Trowa's voice pulled Duo out of his melancholy thoughts though. "So, after the attack today, what did you do?"

"Surveillance," Heero stated.

"What kind?" Wufei asked, and a thin eyebrow rose in question.

"These gang-bangers, the cockroaches… I did some reconnaissance around their territory." The Japanese man gave a small smile. "They have roughly fifteen members, if one disregards the females they have with them."

"Wouldn't do that if I were you," Duo said. "They tend to be tougher and more dangerous. How many are there?"

"I saw three, but I would assume that there are at least six more, if you count the prostitutes across the street from the abandoned department store."

"So, twenty-four members," Wufei mused. "There are four of us. It wouldn't be that difficult to handle that."

"I don't think all of us should go. Duo and Trowa are rather notable for their hair," Heero said with a hard glint in his eyes.

"I can hide my braid," Duo said, fuming at the high-handed manner Heero was taking this entire situation.

"That's true. It worked well during the war," Trowa added. "A hat should be sufficient to hide my bangs as well."

"No, I agree with Yuy," Wufei said thoughtfully. "It would be best if the two of you, who are known to have problems with the gang, stay where witnesses can see you. Perhaps you and the women can take the children out on a field trip to give yourselves an alibi."

"What about backup?" Duo asked, feeling uneasy about letting the two Asian men handle his problem by themselves. "It's not like this is an OZ base. They won't try to take you captive. They'll kill you." When twin glares were aimed in his direction, he didn't even flinch. They hadn't worked during the war, and had lost their vehemence since then. "I'm not letting you two walk into a situation that could result in your deaths. So, either take back-up or let me help plan this stupid fucking mission!"

"You said that you still have some explosives," Heero said. "Was that an exaggeration, or do you really have some?"

Duo had the grace to blush. _'God, he would remember something that I said in jest. The bad part is that it's true.'_ He looked over at Trowa, who was frowning heavily at him and sighed. "It's true. I don't keep them on the orphanage's property, of course, but my storage place is fairly close by and easy to get to."

"Excellent," Heero said with a thin smile.

When Heero looked over at Trowa, he realized that maybe he should have asked about the explosives _away_ from Duo's business partner. If he had remembered basic common sense, then this would be something that could get the two men into a _lot_ of trouble with the authorities, especially if there was any chance that it could endanger the children. However, he was aware that it was too late, and chocked it up to another problem he'd have to handle with Duo at a later date.

"How soon can you get them?"

"Soon enough, I guess." The American was still acting a little sullen, but Heero really had no room to talk, since he'd been less than honest with the other man and had disappeared without so much as a by-your-leave for over a year. He had a lot to make up to him before they'd ever get past that fact. "When do you need them?"

"We'll get to that when we have a more solid plan," Wufei said, taking in the situation between their friends accurately. "Perhaps you and Trowa should leave while Yuy and I do so." He held up a hand as Duo started to protest. "If it comes down to things, I will contact Winner to assist. This is something that should be handled… off the books, as it were. It would damage many reputations if it was traced back to any of us, I'm aware, but if nothing is done, something worse than just rocks, graffiti and biblical flaming bushes could result."

"Yeah, well, I don't think it was Moses that was the recipient of that particular message," Trowa deadpanned. "Duo, you and I need to have a little talk, now."

The two men left the room and Wufei leaned across the table with a hard look on his face. "You'd better know what you're doing here, Yuy. Maxwell and Barton, as well as the women, have worked too hard to get this place to be safe and happy for those children. Maxwell, as well, has found some sort of happiness here. I will be _very_ upset should something happen to this little slice of L2."

"Your threat is noted, but unneeded, Wufei," Heero said calmly, his eyes still darting to the door and half an ear open for any loud sounds. "I have no intention of ruining our friends' lives or bringing a scandal to this orphanage."

"I think it's too late for the ruining part." Cold black eyes narrowed. "What did you come back for? Granted, the Preventers would have looked for you until we had proof you were dead or had completely taken yourself out of the business of terrorism, as the others have proven they are."

"Are you going to try and take me back to Une and Sally?" Heero looked coolly at the other man. "I can tell you now that you'll fail."

"Ancestors, no, I wouldn't wish working with those two on anyone who hadn't volunteered for it," Wufei muttered. "Listen, Yuy, I know that you have some honour, which is more than I can say for a lot of other people. What I want to know is if you plan on staying here or not."

"I fail to see why it would concern you."

"Because it concerns Duo!" The Chinese man flushed and sat back down, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. "He is my friend. He was the first one to offer his hand in friendship after the whole fiasco with Mariemaia's Army. Not even Barton, or Winner for that matter, was quick enough to best him. He is also the reason we didn't die on that Gods-forsaken Moonbase, even though Une would have surely approved of it. So, I have a vested interest in his happiness."

The emotion that Heero had been trying to quash during their talk swam to the surface again, and this time it was he who had to close his eyes to calm down. "That's it?"

"That's it… Yuy, I'd hit you if Duo hadn't already done such a stellar job. Listen to yourself. You sound like a jealous…" Those cold eyes crinkled in amusement. "Really? Well, that's interesting. And it tells me more than you're actually saying. Fine, we can work together to get rid of this gang. Shall I call Winner or do you want that honor?"

"When were you going to tell the rest of us about this mysterious stockpile of things that could ruin everything we've worked for?" Trowa asked once he and Duo were alone in the kitchen.

"I don't know, Tro. I can't even tell you why I kept them. Some part of me kept thinking that I'd have Q send a few of his forty thieves to get them and dispose of them, but I just couldn't."

Trowa closed his eyes and Duo could almost _hear_ the other man's brain working. "Fine, I won't say anything to Cathy or Hilde, this time, but you have to give every stick and clock and wire to Wufei and Heero to dispose of as they see fit."

Duo sighed in relief. "Thanks, Tro, and I'm sorry about this."

"Yes, well, I'm going to choose to believe that you would have told Quatre and the Maguanacs about this before the end of the year. Lucky for us, Los Chupacabras is full of idiots who don't know who the hell they're actually messing with."

"You know, once something happens, the police are going to come right for us," Duo said, biting his bottom lip in thought.

"I'd thought about that too. If they're going to bring Quatre in on this mission, we can talk to him about distancing ourselves from all knowledge of the attack."

Duo put his head down against the cool marble counter of the sink. "I was sure that once the _wars_ were over that we didn't have to do this anymore. I don't think I'm young enough to handle lying to the authorities and chasing after twenty kids."

"You weren't the only one," Trowa replied after a few quiet moments. "Let's help the girls get the kids in bed and then turn in ourselves. The less time we spend around Wufei and Heero, the less we know and the better off we are in the long run."

"You know, Tro, sometimes you're just too damn practical."

"One of us has to be."

TBC


	7. Endlessly

**Title:** Starting Over

**Author: **Makoto Sagara  
><strong>Series:<strong> Gundam Wing  
><strong>Archive:<strong> the usual suspects (ffnet, affnet, Foreverfandom, my site, mediaminer, my update LJ, and the gw-fanML on yahoo); anywhere else, please ask first.  
><strong>Category<strong>: Angst, Action

**Pairings:** 1+2+1, others unknown  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Shonen ai, language, angst, sap, Post-EW, Episode Zero story spoilers  
><strong>Disclaimers: <strong>I make no money, so suing is pointless. If you think I own GW, then you need to see someone. I have the number to a nice doctor... Oh, SALLY!

**Author's Notes: **Oh, Jokes, how I love you. You put up with the fact that I dragged the last chapter out and even learned to love 2x5. What can I say, other than, YAY!

**Starting Over, Chapter 7 – Endlessly**

Heero waited until Wufei put Quatre on the speaker function of his cellphone before speaking. "Quatre, something's happened and Chang and I need your assistance."

"What happened to Duo and Trowa, Heero?" the blond asked in an obviously worried voice. "I felt some weird emotions from you guys today, but I figured if it was bad, someone would have called me."

"The local gang attacked the orphanage while the children were out," Heero answered. "No one was seriously injured."

"But?" Heero had forgotten the blond's scary intuition in the year he'd been away. "There's something more, especially if you and Wufei are asking for my help."

"Winner," Wufei cut in. "We need you to come to L2. Can you take a vacation from WEI?"

"Hm, actually, I can. Iria's available to cover for a while. How long do you think you'd need me?"

"A week, at most," Wufei answered. "That's all I have from the Preventers… Even though Une and Sally were more than happy to kick me out of the office, we're still short on personnel."

"Well, I have something to tell Lady Une regarding that particular problem next time we speak," Quatre said distractedly. "Alright, I'll need some time to get things around here ready. I can be there in…" They heard papers shuffling, something hard hitting the floor, and muttered cursing. "…ten hours?"

Wufei looked at his watch and sighed. "That will get you here at seven in the morning. And you'll need sleep after that."

"Wufei, you've been on WEI's private shuttle. I'll get a good night's rest there," Quatre said with a snicker. "Are the two of you able to be up that early?"

"You obviously have forgotten how early everyone wakes up here, Winner," Wufei shot back, his right eye twitching in annoyance.

'_I never thought that anyone but Duo or Sally could drag that level of annoyance out of Chang,'_ Heero thought, biting back on a laugh at his former comrade. _'It's nice to know that he's sharing that with everyone else now. The only person he hasn't gotten angry with now is Trowa, who wouldn't care if he did or not.'_

"Alright," Quatre said, cutting through Heero's thoughts. "I'll see you in the morning. Tell Duo and Trowa that I'm on my way."

"Acknowledged," Wufei said, sneering at Heero over the cellphone. "Good night, Winner."

"Good night, Quatre," Heero added before the Chinese man stabbed the end call button on the phone and put it back in his pocket. "If there's nothing else, I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning, Chang."

"Certainly," Wufei said confidently. "Oh, but you need to tell Duo that Winner will be here in the morning. I'll tell Barton, since his room is next to mine."

"Fine," Heero replied, letting the shorter man go before him up to the third floor where their rooms were located. He watched as Wufei walked all the way down the hall and stopped at Trowa's door before turning to face the wood that served as a barrier between him and Duo. He lifted his hand and was surprised when it opened before he could knock. "Duo…"

"Yes, Heero?" Duo asked coolly.

"We spoke to Quatre." Heero closed his eyes, trying to block out the chill he was getting from the unfamiliar glare on the American's face.

"And?" Heero could almost _hear_ Duo crossing his arms over his chest, but he swallowed a sigh so he could finish this task.

"He'll be here early in the morning. Do you have a room where we could plan without disturbing the children?"

"Yes, Tro and I have offices down on the first floor, near the old reception area," Duo said slowly before letting out a huge yawn.

"Aa."

"Heero, do you need anything else? Because, if you don't, I'm damn tired and have a long day tomorrow."

"Duo…" He opened his eyes and was face-to-face with the cold mask that his friend had used during the wars. Not Shinigami. Not that, but something much, much worse. This was the _seriously _pissed Duo. Which meant the other man was perhaps a few steps away before taking the plunge into Shinigami. "I… just want to say that I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? Well, that's nice to know, Yuy." Duo's warm, bright voice was so cold that Heero had to suppress the urge to flinch. "How about you save it for someone who gives a damn. Good night." And then, the door was slammed in Heero's face, leaving him standing there, alone and stunned, while he gathered his thoughts. After a few minutes, he turned to go grab some sleep in his own room. _'When all this is over, I think I'll leave. It was such a bad idea to come back here first.'_

Duo waited until he heard the door to Heero's room close before he slunk to the floor, a shaking, cold mess. He didn't _want_ to be Shinigami anymore. He hadn't had to play that part since the first war. He'd managed to avoid pulling that mask out, somehow, during the Eve War.

He guessed it was just something about Heero that made it difficult for him to regulate his emotions.

He was so tired. He just wanted peace, for things to be normal.

He was starting to think that he'd never get anything remotely like that.

His sins weighed heavily on him right then, making him relive his time as a child on L2, and keeping him from a restful night's sleep in his comfortable bed. Somewhere, along the way, he fell into a light doze as he rocked from a foetal position on the floor, tears and screams making sure he was never too deeply lost in oblivion.

Heero sat up carefully as his laptop's alarm went off at five a.m. exactly, signaling to the former Wing pilot that he needed to get up so he could meet with Quatre and Chang. Quickly, he dressed into a pair of worn jeans, a black t-shirt, and a pair of trainers that he'd purchased while he was still at St. Sebastian's during one of their day trips.

He remembered that trip reluctantly. Dr. Shaw had been very pointed about Heero learning to adjust and interact with other people without the use of lies or weapons. When another of the residents, a man who'd been classified as mostly harmless, made the suggestion of a day trip shopping, the mental health professional about wet himself in excitement. It had taken Heero an hour to realize that the man was staring at him specifically to gauge his reaction. Heero had responded with an uninterested shrug and waited for the others of the group, two other men and two women, all much older than he was, to make up their minds. One of the women – she was probably old enough to be Heero's mother, but had decided that the former Gundam pilot was going to be her new boyfriend – had attached herself to his side for the entire day. She'd outdone even Relena's persistence. At least the Queen of the World knew to back off when Heero's fingers began twitching. Lucky for her, Dr. Shaw rescued her before Heero managed to get _both_ of his hands around her neck.

Shaking his head, Heero finished tying his laces and gathered all of his belongings into the duffle bag he brought before placing it by the door of the room. That would save him unnecessary packing time when he left after doing this one last thing for Duo and Trowa.

Lightly, Heero opened the door to his room and made his way down the hall to the kitchen area he remembered from the morning before. He wasn't surprised to find the other adults awake and nursing steaming mugs of coffee.

"Good morning, Heero," Hilde said happily as he entered. He nodded and made his way over to the coffee pot to make his own cup, feeling a very familiar and still very angry pair of eyes following his every movement.

'_I suppose that answers my question as to whether or not he's still angry with me,'_ he thought morosely, turning around to find both women staring at him questioningly. "Yes, ladies?"

"Oh, it's nothing, really," Cathy said offhandedly. "We were just wondering what made you think it was okay to turn up after a year of no communication like nothing happened."

"Yes, it's rather inconsiderate of you to think that was normal behaviour for friends," the dark-haired woman added.

"Ancestors, it's too early for you women to act so subtly," Wufei grumbled, rubbing his temples slowly. "Just tell him he's a fuck up, like the rest of us did last night, and be done with it." The women exchanged glances before laughing at the Chinese man's mini-rant.

"Oh, Wufei, you're always so amusing when you're here," Cathy said, patting his hand.

"I know. It's almost a shame that we'll have to send you back to Une and Sally," Hilde said with a devious smirk that she must have learned from Duo as she and Cathy wrapped themselves around his arms.

"Barton, call off these women! They're referring to my tormentors with glee," Wufei said, trying to pull away from the two females without actually hurting them.

"'Fei, you'd think you don't go through this every time you visit," Duo croaked. The strange note in the American's voice had Heero taking a long look at his friend. Dark circles and a haunted look in his eyes let Heero know that the other man hadn't slept very well, if at all. "They'll just keep teasing you until you lighten up." He turned to the two women with a small smile. "But, you two should know that not even I could make him crack during the war, so you've got your work cut out for you."

Cathy smiled at her boss, giving him a wink as she and Hilde released the spluttering Chinese man. "Well, Duo, what did you have planned for today for all of us?"

"After we take the older kids to school, I was thinking that the younger kids could use a trip to the park for a nature lesson."

"Oh! That sounds like a great idea," Hilde chirped. "But with six adults, there'll only be seven kids. Seems a little bit of overkill, if you ask me."

"Yuy and I have other plans for the day, Hilde, so it will only be you four regulars," Wufei snarled before downing the rest of his coffee. "Winner should be here soon so we can get started with our plans."

"What plans?" Cathy asked, but Trowa shook his head solemnly before moving towards the hallway.

"Duo, why don't we start waking up the kids while the girls start breakfast," the banged man suggested.

"Great idea, Tro," Duo said with no animation. "We'll see you ladies downstairs in about forty-five minutes, if we can convince the monsters to wake up on time for once."

"Don't bet on it," Hilde responded, eyeing Duo carefully before kissing his cheek. She leaned in close and whispered in his ear, making a small smile grace the American's lips. "See ya, gents." With that, she and Cathy disappeared, shortly followed by Duo and Trowa.

Duo perked up as he walked around the rooms on the second floor, waking up the older children and helping the smaller ones get dressed. He'd had worse days than this with the kids, and it seemed that they understood that today wasn't really a good day to push him. Or maybe it was just that they were too tired from all the excitement they'd been going through lately to give him problems before breakfast. Whichever it was, Duo was grateful. Doing the menial but necessary acts of everyday life in the orphanage helped settle the anger in his mind. Once everything with the gang had died down, Duo promised himself that he was going to pin Heero down for a very long talk about things.

'_Maybe by then I will have gathered the courage to tell him how I feel,'_ he thought, scoffing at his own stupid sentimentality. _'What am I talking about? I'll be lucky if he doesn't try to run away again. I know that I had every right to be pissed at him and lash out, both verbally and physically, but it wasn't very mature or helpful. I'm just too tired to deal with this crap right now.'_

"Aw! Duo said a bad word," Nelia squealed, tugging on the end of her brown pigtails and smiling at the braided pilot.

"Did I?" he asked, moving in to tickle the little girl, who quickly ran away, bumping into Jimmy in the process.

"Come along, you little demons," he said to the seven children who had yet to head down to breakfast. "I'm sure that Cathy and Hilde have finished making breakfast, and since I know for a fact that most of you have tests today, you'd better eat lots."

When he and his group trudged down into the dining room, they found out that they had an extra guest. "Q! What are you doing here?"

"Oh, did Heero and Wufei not tell you that I'm here to help with your pest problem?" the blond asked innocently, batting his blue eyes in a way that made Duo snicker. "You know that WEI has experience in exterminations."

"Hm, yeah, you do, don't you?" Duo muttered. "Well, let's eat and get the monsters of to school." Suddenly, the room came to life as twenty children and seven adults all attempted to have conversations over their simple meal before starting their different tasks.

None of them noticed how quiet Duo was as he nibbled on a few pieces of toast. However, the feeling of someone staring at him forced Duo to look up and meet with Heero's heavy blue eyes. He looked so contrite that Duo nearly caved in and accepted his apology from the night before, but something held him back. _'It's gonna take a helluva lot more than just the words "I'm sorry" to get me to actually forgive you, Heero.'_ He turned his head and leaned over to answer a question Becky asked him, not noticing the pained look on the Japanese man's face before it shut down completely.

TBC


	8. How I Could Just Kill A Man

**Title:** Starting Over

**Author: **Makoto Sagara  
><strong>Series:<strong> Gundam Wing  
><strong>Archive:<strong> the usual suspects (ffnet, affnet, Foreverfandom, my site, mediaminer, my update LJ, and the gw-fanML on yahoo); anywhere else, please ask first.  
><strong>Category<strong>: Angst, Action

**Pairings:** 1+2+1, Hilde/Cathy, 3+4+3  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Shonen ai, language, angst, sap, Post-EW, Episode Zero story spoilers  
><strong>Disclaimers: <strong>I make no money, so suing is pointless. If you think I own GW, then you need to see someone. I have the number to a nice doctor... Oh, SALLY!

**Author's Notes: **I was planning on having this be the title of the last chapter, but Heero and Duo had other things in mind, I guess. Many thanks to Jokes for her hard work! Luvre! I'd apologize about the time that it takes me to update, but with six other WiPs, I can't really say that I am. For some reason, the muses were more amused working in another fandom, and I had to suffer with my conscience telling me that I was bad for not updating this. So, I'm sorry that my muses suck? Does that work?

**Starting Over, Chapter 8 – How I Could Just Kill a Man**

Quatre slowly narrowed aquamarine eyes as he stared at the two Asian men as they sat around the desk in Duo's office. Heero shifted under the scrutiny of his friend's calculating glare. The blond man had lost none of the ability to seem both totally in control and on the verge of killing everyone at the drop of a hat, if Heero was forced to be honest about the situation. "So, which one of you wants to tell me what the hell is going on around here? I left and things were relatively peaceful. However, you two call me back and it's total chaos. The huge picture window that Duo's so fond of is _completely_ trashed. Heero has an obviously broken nose and bruised face. Wufei's pissier than normal, if truth be told. Trowa's not saying anything, and that's _unusual_ in and of itself. Hilde and Cathy look like they'd like to roast Heero's privates over an open fire. And Duo's damn near Shinigami." He ended his speech by turning the full force of his glare onto Heero as he sat quietly in the chair. "I think you should really explain yourself, Yuy, before I add more bruises to the _spectacular_ one that Duo gave you."

"How'd you know that Duo did it?" Heero asked, ignoring the rest of the Arab's statement for the time being.

"Oh, well, if it had been Wufei, even you'd be in the hospital," Quatre answered, giving their friend a wide smirk. The Chinese man returned it with an eerie calm as he raised a delicate eyebrow in Heero's direction. "Besides, the girls are still giving you dirty looks. If either one of them had done _that_," he waved a pale hand in the direction of Heero's sore nose, "they'd be strutting around like peacocks and snickering at you every time you came into view. Trowa would have just kicked you out of here. So, that leaves Duo. Explain. _Now_."

Heero sighed, knowing there was no way he was going to get out of this situation and wondering if he'd be adding any more bumps and bruises to his body by the end of this conversation. "I told the others where I was for the last year. Duo didn't take it very well."

Wufei scoffed, folding his arms defensively over his chest. "Yes, you _could_ phrase it that way, I guess, but I would rather say that he… What's that saying he's always using… blew his top? Yes, I think that's the one." He smirked nastily. "I'm really surprised that all he did was throw the one punch. I think you deserved much more."

Heero watched as Quatre's mouth twitched before those cool light eyes narrowed again. "Care to enlighten me then?"

"I spent the last year under an assumed name at St. Sebastian's on Earth," Heero deadpanned.

"Alright, well, I didn't see that one coming," Quatre said after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. "I guess it could have been worse. You didn't get plastic surgery. You didn't go off and join some psycho's army." He shot a hard look at Wufei, who had the decency to blush. "You just… dropped off the face of the planet for a year and turned back up like nothing happened." He drew his lips into a tight line. "So, seeing as how Duo has punished you, and probably hasn't forgiven you at all yet, I say that I'm going to let you off."

Heero relaxed, letting go of a tension he didn't know he'd had when the blond set them down to talk in the small room. He still remembered all too well what happened after Quatre's father died, and how he'd almost killed Trowa. The image of a mentally exhausted and defeated Quatre while they were in Sanq came back to him and he tried not to cringe. That was something he _never_ wanted to experience again. "Thank you," he said softly.

"That's _it_?" Wufei yelled, staring at Quatre like he'd grown another head. "You hear his stupid story, forgive him because Duo has already hit him, and then we continue on like nothing happened? I cannot believe this. We wasted a year looking for this idiot, and you don't even call him out on it."

"Oh, Wufei," Quatre said coldly. "He's not off the hook, not by a long shot. Do you _really_ think that Duo's just going to forgive him for pretty much abandoning him? Do you think it's going to be so easy for Heero to get back into his good graces? I don't. And I think Heero could do with having to do a little groveling. It might do him, and Duo, some good. Besides, we'll be here to make sure he doesn't do something stupid, like leave when he feels he's done helping Duo, and we can watch how badly he screws up."

Wufei sat back down in the chair that he'd shot up out of and thought quietly for a moment. "I hadn't looked at it quite like that before," he responded. "I look forward to the groveling that is to ensue."

"There you are," Quatre said with a genuine smile. "Now, tell me what we're going to do about that gang?"

Heero couldn't tell if his blood had run cold at the blond's speech about what he'd have to do to get back on Duo's good side, or if it was the excitement practically radiating off of him now that they had a 'mission'. Either way, he knew that he was screwed. And not in an enjoyable way, as Duo had said once or twice.

Duo looked around at the seven children that he, Trowa, Cathy and Hilde were supervising for the day. While a part of him was grateful to be away from the orphanage while Quatre, Wufei, and _He-Who-Duo-Refused-to-Think-About_ planned for their self-appointed mission, the other, wilder part of him that he'd repressed for the last year was yearning to help. Was it really his fault that he liked the explosions that he'd set during the wars? He didn't think so, but he knew that the others would hate him if he jeopardized all the work done and blood given just to take out a stupid group of drug-dealing gangbangers.

"You're being awfully quiet today, Duo," Cathy said, intruding into his solitary reverie.

"That's never a good sign," Trowa said as he shifted Aaron on his hip while stepping away from Cathy, who was holding little Megan. She had a history of yanking on his unusual bangs every chance she got. "Considering what's been going on lately, however, I'd say he's dealing with it pretty well."

"I guess that's true," Hilde added, looping one of her arms through Duo's. "How are you holding up, love?"

"Hill, I'm tired as hell. I slept beyond poorly last night and seeing Heero is the most excruciating mixture of intense pleasure and abject misery I've ever experienced," Duo answered truthfully. He was too tired to even bother to mask his weary expression.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. "You know that I'm a great listener, and if you can stand Cathy knowing it all later, then no one else needs to know."

"When are you going to tell Trowa that you and Cathy are screwing each other?"

"Oh, she told him last week. Came back and told me that all he said was 'I figured' and went back to working on the bus."

"I remember saying to a certain German woman that Trowa wasn't going to care about something like that." He shot a look at the other two adults and shook his head. "Besides, Trowa's still not honest with himself about why Quatre comes to visit as much as he does."

"Unlike you, who is the perfect picture of total honesty?"

"Hey, I may run, hide and refuse to answer some things, but I _never_ tell a lie," he said, feeling rather irritated with his friend, who was pulling on his arm uncomfortably while she pestered him. "I never made it a secret that Heero could have come and helped Trowa and I start this orphanage and I would have been the happiest in my whole life."

"Very true," she conceded before watching Becky running around with Fatima. "And now that he's here, how do you feel?"

"Didn't we just cover this?" he whined childishly. "I'm torn between tying him up in my bed for the rest of our lives and punching him until neither of us can move."

"Kinky," she said with a wildly inappropriate wink. "Does Yuy know about this side of you?"

"Haha, you're so not funny today, Hill. Can you just say what it is that's bothering you and your girlfriend so that I can mope in peace?"

"Fine, I'll give in this once, but only because you're not cute when you're being pissy. Heero was gone for a year, in a behavioural reprogramming therapy that was rather intensive. He obviously felt that he needed to do that so that he could have normal interactions with other people." She sighed, letting her black hair sweep across her eyes before shoving it out of her face. "He's changed, for the most part, and I'm glad, but Cathy and I are worried about what he could still be harboring from the wars."

"Well, neither of you were so worried about Wufei, Trowa, Quatre or me when we started this all up."

"That's because we were all forced to see someone while we were going through the vetting process, and Wufei has Sally to ride his ass about his physical and mental health. Quatre…" She paused, looking at the braided man carefully. "Quatre has learned to deal with most of his issues, and he told Cathy that Iria forced him to start seeing a therapist before she let him take complete control of WEI. So, we're alright, mostly. But, Heero, that's a different story. What does he want?"

"I wish I knew," Duo said sadly.

"We have a few more days before we have to decide what to do about him, as far as the authorities are concerned. If he wants to stay, then we can put him to use. It would be nice to have the older boys start some sort of martial arts training. I know that we talked about it when the kids started arriving, but now that he's here, we might be able to actually do it."

"I'll talk to him about it, but I wouldn't hold my breath." Duo shrugged her arm off unceremoniously. "He's going to try and leave after he deals with the Cockroaches."

"You're sure about that?"

"About as certain as I can be with Heero, but I don't know how far that goes."

Heero looked up from the drawing that he was working on of the territory belonging to _Los Chupacabras._ "This is as accurate as I can be without actually going into the building itself," he said to his two companions. "This," he marked a spot in the middle of the main room, "is where the leader has set up court. He has six members in his inner circle and there are a few others stationed around the room." He marked another spot outside the old department building, across the street. "That is where the prostitutes that I can surmise belong to the gang sell their wares."

Wufei took the drawing and studied for a few long moments. "It's a very practical setup." He gave a wry smile. "I can safely assume that he has someone watching the women that belong to them at all times?"

"I noticed two males standing at opposite ends of the block the girls worked and at least one child, gender undeterminable, that could run into the business and warn the others of approaching conflict," Heero answered.

"That makes things both easier and harder for us," Quatre said as he looked over the drawing as well. "Could the children be bribed? I'd rather not be responsible for the death of children who were only there because they had to join the gang."

Heero looked at the blond and frowned. _'It hasn't been long enough for him to be able to forgive himself for what happened after his father's death,'_ he thought sourly. _'I suppose that I just assumed he was dealing with it. I wonder if he's talked to anyone about it. Or what happened with Trowa during that time?'_

"We could, in theory, call out the leader and his inner circle to a place far away from their territory," Wufei said, cutting into Heero's thoughts. "When they show up, we could then take them out."

"In theory, it should work," Quatre said. "However, the problem with L2, and any slum area, is that if you take out one, three more will pop up and begin fighting violently for the territory. We need to do something that no one can ignore."

"Quatre's right. There's also another benefit to us doing this our own way, instead of handing this all over to the local authorities. The building is condemned, and only part of the second floor is capable of being used. The rest is falling in and it's only a matter of time before the entire building collapses in on itself," Heero added.

"So, you two are suggesting that we just blow up the building?" Wufei asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Not exactly," Heero answered. "I was thinking we could 'help along' the destruction of their home base, with controlled explosions."

"That idea has some merit," Wufei said thoughtfully. "However, Duo would be the best person to set the charges on the second floor. I cannot tell you how many bases he snuck into and set his explosives before waltzing out and causing a commotion to distract the OZ personnel from finding them."

"I agree that Duo was the best at doing that during the war, but I know for a fact that we've all done the same thing," Quatre said. "I also know that Trowa infiltrated OZ's ranks more than once to steal information, set charges and then blow the whole base up."

The blond's comment brought a noticeable flush to the Chinese man's cheeks. _'I bet he's thinking about the time that Trowa did the same thing in Mariemaea's Army and he didn't report him to Dekim Barton.'_ Heero decided to save the Preventer from any more discomfort. "Since the gang is used to seeing both Quatre and yourself, Chang, around the orphanage, I want to volunteer to be the one to place the charges while you two cause a distraction."

Cold, dark eyes leveled an impressive glare at him. "Are you doing this to impress me? You are failing. If something were to happen to you, I'd have to answer to Duo, not to mention Une and Po. I veto your suggestion."

"Actually, Wufei," Quatre interrupted calmly. "Heero is correct. He was able to scout their territory without being found easily. If you and I were to create enough of a distraction with the members, perhaps taking out a few of them in the process, he could get in and out in about fifteen minutes." A cold smile ghosted across the blond's face. "Are you up for it?"

"Alright, you've made your point, Winner," Wufei relented. "When do we begin?"

TBC


	9. Fireworks

**Title:** Starting Over  
><strong>Author: <strong>Makoto Sagara  
><strong>Series:<strong> Gundam Wing  
><strong>Archive:<strong> the usual suspects (ffnet, affnet, Foreverfandom, my site, mediaminer, my update LJ, and the gw-fanML on yahoo); anywhere else, please ask first.  
><strong>Category<strong>: Angst, Action**  
><strong>**Pairings:** 1+2+1, Hilde/Cathy, 3+4+3  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T+  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Shonen ai, language, angst, sap, Post-EW, Episode Zero story spoilers, some violence, action  
><strong>Disclaimers: <strong>I make no money, so suing is pointless. If you think I own GW, then you need to see someone. I have the number to a nice doctor... Oh, SALLY!

**Author's Notes: **Omg, I'm so sorry! I didn't forget about this story, I promise. I've just been involved in other stories and RL got weird for a while. I _swear_ that I haven't abandoned it. It's just taking longer than I hoped to get around to the chapters with ten works-in-progress right now!

**Starting Over, Chapter 9 - Fireworks**

Heero nodded to Chang and Winner before he slipped down the dark, dirty alley so that he could begin the process of scaling the building's side to reach the second floor of the abandoned department store. Strapped to his back was a bag full of C-4, detonators, and several sticks of old-fashioned dynamite. _'What would Dr. Shaw say if he saw me slipping back into the role of terrorist not even two weeks after my release?'_ he thought as he grabbed a hold of the crumbling wall of his target. _'He'd probably try to throw me right back into therapy, no questions asked.'_

When he reached the top, he looked around with a sharp eye, taking in the position of the prostitutes and gang members he could see from his perch. Two men stood at each street corner, while scantily clad teenaged girls and a boy walked up and down the block, trying to tempt the drivers of the vehicles that raced by. Heero could barely hold in a snarl of disgust when a car door opened and revealed a man around the age of fifty or so, Asian decent (probably Vietnamese or Cambodian if the colouring was any indication) and a big-breasted blonde girl hopped in before the door shut again.

He took out the walkie-talkie that Quatre had insisted he take and pressed the comm button. "I'm on the roof," he said quietly.

"Acknowledged," the blond responded. "Wufei and I will get into position. Five minutes, and then you can begin to place the charges. When you hear gunshots, get out of there."

"Ryokai," Heero said before sliding the walkie-talkie back onto his belt and making his way over to where the roof was beginning to fall down. It was there he placed the first of the C-4 blocks. He then turned his attention to his watch.

True to his word, Quatre and Chang engaged in a very loud and attention grabbing argument with the gang members nearest them. He could hear disparaging remarks being made by both sides, along with occasional comments about one or another's mothers. The former Wing pilot never understood the subtle art of insults, especially when it turned to parentage. He noticed that Duo and Trowa refrained from engaging in those types of conversations, but Chang _had_ made a comment a time or two towards Duo about his lack of parents. He found it useless when one looked at it. They were all orphans now.

Pushing those idle thoughts away, Heero slipped down into the building through one of the gaping holes in the roof. A small, satisfied smile crossed his face when he made no noise. Without wasting a second, he began distributing the explosives as evenly as possible. Just as he was about to set the last three sticks of dynamite he had in the middle of the sleeping quarters, the sound of feet scuffling on the marble floor made his head turn in the direction of the nearest staircase.

There at the top was the leader of _Los Chupacabras_ and a very _ugly_ woman. He would have compared her to Dorothy Catalonia, but even the tall, blonde woman was aesthetically pleasing, if one discounted her odd, grey eyebrows. "Who're you?" the dark skinned teen growled, shoving the girl away from him as he moved a hand to the waistband of his pants.

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you," Heero said calmly, pulling his own gun out before the gang's leader even had his hand on the butt of his gun. "Who I am is of no matter. I know who you are."

"Everyone in this territory knows who I am," the kid said with obviously false bravado. "Are you with those faggots down the road? I knew I shoulda set the whole damn place on fire."

Heero, instead of answering the disgusting creature before him, pulled the trigger of his weapon and smiled when the gang leader jumped back from the marble chips that flew from the floor by his feet.

"You're a fuckin' psycho, just like the rest of them fags!" He reached for his gun again and Heero popped off another shot, hitting him in the foot this time. "WHAT THE FUCK, MAN? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Heero stared coolly at the black teen, gun still poised and ready to maim when needed. However, he wasn't ready for when he was attacked from the side by the girl, whom both males had forgotten about.

"DON'T SHOOT KILLA, YOU FUCKIN' FAGGOT BASTARD!" she screeched, dragging ragged nails across Heero's face as she tried to wrestle his gun from his hands. "YOU ASSHOLE! I'LL KILL YOU MYSELF!"

The former Gundam pilot wondered if he should rid himself of the girl by a swift chop to the neck, and if he did so would he kill her. When she attempted to kick him in the groin with her pointy shoes, Heero felt an overwhelming sense of anger and smacked the girl hard across her face. He watched as she collapsed and turned his attention back to 'Killa'. He was staring down the barrel of a Tech-9, an old-fashioned but still rather effective automatic weapon. "You really shouldn'ta hit my girl, man. Now, I'mma hafta kill you."

Heero said nothing as he ducked, lashing out with one booted foot and connecting with the teen's shin, causing the spray of bullets to go out in different directions as the boy fell and forgot to take his finger off the trigger. He felt one graze his shoulder and ignored the hot pain that lanced down his arm from the wound to his fingertips. Before the boy could get his balance back to try and shoot him again, Heero jumped forward, snatching the gun away and punching his opponent in the nose, shattering it if the way it gave under his knuckles was any indication. The indignant howl also helped to confirm his suspicions.

With the two teens down, Heero hastily threw the last of his charges into a dark corner. He could hear footsteps pounding up the staircase, letting him know that the altercation hadn't gone unnoticed. He raced over to the hole he used to enter the building, shouting and shots ringing out as he pulled himself over the lip of the ceiling. He could hear the walkie-talkie screeching in Quatre's panicked tones, but ignored it as he raced across the tiles to the next building. At the last second, he jumped, just barely grabbing onto the edge of the roof.

He could feel the ragged bricks scrapping at the jeans he was wearing and tried desperately to find a foothold so that he could pull himself over. After a few seconds of scrambling, he finally managed to get enough leverage and hoisted his body with a power that was belied by his lean frame. He lay down against the slate tiles, breathing through his mouth to catch some air. When he was sure that he wouldn't sound so winded, he picked up the walkie-talkie.

"HEERO? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? ANSWER ME THIS SECOND! I'M NOT GOING TO TELL DUO THAT YOU FUCKING DIED ON A STUPID MISSION LIKE THIS!" Quatre was screaming in a pitch that Heero didn't think the blond could actually reach without doing permanent damage to his vocal chords.

"I'm fine, Quatre," he whispered.

"What happened?" That voice was Chang's. Heero had never been happier to hear the Chinese man's clipped tones.

"The leader and his girlfriend came upstairs as I was about to place the last of the charges. I had to take them down, but the noise reached down to the others. I managed to escape before they could catch me and I am currently on the roof of the building next to their hideout."

"All of the charges are set?"

"Yes."

"Wonderful," Quatre said, obviously having taken the radio back from Chang. "Climb down the fire escape on the back wall, and we can make our way out. When we get the appropriate distance, then we'll blow the charges."

"Ryokai," Heero muttered, slipping the device back into the waistband of his jeans and sitting up. He could make out the forms of a few of the gang bangers attempting to climb up to the roof, but none seemed physically able. He shook his head and belly-crawled to where he could see the metal fire escape, right where Quatre had said it would be.

He quickly made his way down the two storeys of metal stairs and then ran full speed down the alley until he made it to the rendezvous point with Chang and Quatre. The blond gave him a watery smile, while Chang ran a critical eye over him.

"You're out of practice, Yuy." Heero stared back at his former comrade and waited for the critique. "You're injured and your clothes are torn. Duo's going to have a fit."

"It was acceptable in the situation," Heero answered stoically. "Besides, I've had worse, and from Duo himself."

Chang eyed Heero's mending nose and snorted. "True. Set off the explosives, and then we'll return back to the orphanage. Hopefully, we'll get there before the older children return from school. We need to clean up and don't want them to ask questions."

"I agree," Quatre said, rubbing a spot of blood on his pale cheeks. "I don't think that we were every that stupid when we were teenagers."

"We were never regular teenagers, Winner," Chang said casually as the started down the street. "We were fighting OZ when we were their age."

"That's a sad thought," the blond said morosely.

Heero ignored their banter, counting the seconds in his head as they walked down the street. When they were fifteen seconds, ten blocks, away from the gang's hideout, he blew the detonator. The ground was rocked by the explosion, forcing Heero to his knees. He heard grunts coming from his companions, signifying that he wasn't the only one affected by the blast's impact. "We need to hurry," he said tersely, getting to his feet and ignoring both the jarring pain of his wounded shoulder and the knee he'd obviously bruised on the ground. "This area is going to be crawling with law enforcement shortly, and I don't want to be caught."

The three men were silent as they raced down the back alleys to the orphanage, but the only thing on Heero's mind was a nice shower and possibly a nap before he found somewhere else to be. He was definitely doing nothing but bringing trouble to his old comrades.

Duo looked up from where he'd just put down little Megan for her afternoon nap when the building started to shake. It felt like an earthquake had rocked L2, but he knew that was impossible. It had to have been an explosion. He felt sick as that realization struck home. As angry as he'd been at Heero for being an idiot, he didn't want him hurt or worse. While he made his way downstairs to where his friends were waiting, Duo silently prayed that Heero and the others would be all right.

He looked up as he saw the main doors open, showing Heero holding his left shoulder and Wufei and Quatre only appearing dirty and a little torn. The braided man was grateful that the children had all gone down for their naps already, so he didn't have to deal with questions he couldn't answer. "What happened?" he whispered heatedly.

"Maxwell, you don't really want us to answer that question," Wufei answered coolly. "I'm going to take a shower and then call Une regarding the whole situation. If the police show up in the meantime, tell them I will speak to them when I'm done with her."

"A shower sounds like a good idea," Quatre said tiredly. "I'll be upstairs if you need me."

Duo turned to look at the last man as his two friends went up to their rooms. "Are you going to shower as well?" he asked, arching an eyebrow at the obviously wounded Japanese man.

"I would like to have my shoulder dressed and the lacerations on my face cleaned before I attempt a shower, if you don't mind," Heero said, sounding as tired as Quatre had.

"You're not going to tell me what happened either, are you?" he asked, knowing the answer already.

"I'd rather not, Duo. When the police get here, you, Trowa, and the girls show know very little about what occurred. It's safer for you and the children that way."

"Trowa, could you," Duo waved one hand in Heero's direction, "you know? Take care of Heero's injuries. I'm going to go start up a snack for the kids."

"We'll come with you," Hilde and Cathy said, getting up from the chairs they'd commandeered in the old lobby. The three were silent as they headed into the kitchen, but once the saloon doors swung shut, Hilde spoke again. "Do you think he's going to stay for sure, Duo?"

"No clue, Hill," Duo answered, getting ingredients ready for chicken salad. "Let's hope that Tro can talk some sense into him."

"If you're counting on my brother, you must be desperate," Cathy joked, chopping up grapes and celery for the braided man.

'_You have no idea how much, Cathy,'_ he thought while going through the familiar motions of snack preparation.

Trowa hauled out the first-aid kit while Heero sat down in one of the recently vacated seats. "You know, coming back injured like this is something I would have expected of Duo or Wufei, not you," the banged man said stoically.

"It was unavoidable," Heero answered, trying hard not to say more than was necessary. "It was unplanned. As I told Chang and Winner, I have had worse injuries, from Duo himself."

"So true," Trowa said, cleaning out the obvious scratch marks with hydrogen peroxide. "He shot you during your first meeting, right?"

"Yes, he was protecting Relena."

"And she threatened to shoot him, if I remember the story correctly."

"You do."

"What is up with you and the people who care for you? Are you all insane?" Heero hissed as his friend dumped a large amount of the liquid on the bullet grazing on his shoulder. "Don't answer that. It was rhetorical."

"I figured as much," Heero replied through clenched teeth as he saw antiseptic being smothered over his wounds before bandages were put in place.

"Well, you look like shit, Heero, but you'll live."

"Thank you, Trowa."

"Well, it's not as bad as the last time I had to patch you up," he said, one eyebrow arching over a single, amused green eye. "So, there's progress for you."

"I am going to take my shower now. If Duo needs me, please let him know."

"Will do. Be careful. I'm sure Quatre or Wufei have more words for you regarding the mission."

Heero nodded before heading up the stairs at a sedate pace. He still hadn't made up his mind as to whether he should leave or stay with the others at the orphanage, but he knew he'd have to do so, and soon, if the looks Trowa gave him earlier meant anything.

TBC


	10. Not Strong Enough

**Title:** Starting Over  
><strong>Author: <strong>Makoto Sagara  
><strong>Series:<strong> Gundam Wing  
><strong>Archive:<strong> the usual suspects (ffnet, affnet, Foreverfandom, my site, mediaminer, my update LJ, and the gw-fanML on yahoo); anywhere else, please ask first.  
><strong>Category<strong>: Angst, Action**  
><strong>**Pairings:** 1+2+1, Hilde/Cathy, 3+4+3  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T+  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Shonen ai, language, angst, sap, Post-EW, Episode Zero story spoilers, some violence, action  
><strong>Disclaimers: <strong>I make no money, so suing is pointless. If you think I own GW, then you need to see someone. I have the number to a nice doctor... Oh, SALLY!

**Author's Notes: **This is the last chapter of Starting Over. It's been an interesting journey to dabble in the 1x2 pairing again. It's been a rather long time since I've done so, and I have to say that I enjoyed it, except when my muses were boycotting working on Gundam Wing stories. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, IThoughtMyJokesWereBad especially for stepping in and doing the beta work after a few chapters. I may or may not write a sequel to this, but for now, this is the last chapter.

**Starting Over, Chapter 10 – Not Strong Enough**

**_I'm not strong enough to stay away._**

**_Can't run from you._**

**_I just run back to you._**

**_Like a moth, I'm drawn into your flame._**

**_Say my name._**

**_But it's not the same._**

**_You look in my eyes._**

**_I'm stripped of my pride._**

**_And my soul surrenders._**

**_And you bring my heart_****_ to its knees._**

_**~ Not Strong Enough, Apocalyptica ft. Brent Smith**_

**Heero stayed upstairs in ****the kitchen across the hall from his room after showering. He could hear Duo and Trowa speaking to the local police. He even thought that he could hear Chang's sharp tones drifting up from the TV room. Quatre just shrugged as they shared a look while the blond dressed the wound in his shoulder and the scratches on his face and neck. When Chang insulted the parentage of one of the people he was yelling at, Quatre's steady hands slipped, scratching Heero's already abused left cheek close to his eye. "Watch it, Quatre."**

**"Sorry, Heero," the Arab man whispered sheepishly, his cheeks flushed in embarrassment as he continued to try and eavesdrop on the conversations taking place on the floor below.**** "I wonder what's going on."**

**"I'm sure we'll find out sooner or later," Heero responded, grateful that the torture was over so his friend could go back to what he was really interested in.**

**It was a few hours later when the Chinese man finally joined them in the kitchenette****, scowling so deeply that it appeared as if his face was permanently lined at the age of eighteen.**

**"The authorities believe that Duo and Trowa know something about what happened, ****but they cannot prove it," Chang said as he began making himself a cup of tea to join Heero and Quatre. "It helps that they have many witnesses for their trip to the zoo with the children and no wrap sheets. That they know of."**

**"How are they?" the blond asked quietly.**

**"I don't know. Duo's refusing to talk to anyone now, and Trowa's doing his best with the women to take care of ****the children. The older ones have returned from school. The regular staff members are attempting to behave as if it is any other day for them, despite the difference in Duo's behaviour."**

**"Is there anything we can do to help him?" Quatre asked, closing his eyes with a look of extreme concentration on his innocent-seeming face.**** He seemed to shake his head in answer to his own question. "No, he's very closed off right now. I can't even pick up a tiny blip from him at this point."**

**"Give him time, Winner," Chang ****said, turning his attention to his tea. "He has many things to digest, and if you or I were to interfere, it would do more harm than good."**

**"You think that we should just lock him and Heero into a room and let them have at it?" The blond obviously meant it as a joke, but the Chinese man's smug nod had the other occupants of the room on edge.**

**"That's a horrible idea," Heero said, finally contributing to the conversation. "Duo is likely to go insane and try to maim me again."**

**"I don't think so, Heero," Quatre said calmly. "Let me be honest with you. Every one of us had to seek counselling for one reason or another. You aren't unique in that manner. However, you ****_are_**** the only one of us to completely disappear for any extended length of time. ****_That_**** is what has offended Duo so greatly. And if you had told him beforehand what you planned, none of this would have happened."**

**"I didn't plan it. It was a very spur of the moment decision," Heero responded, feeling anger bubble up in him for the first time in a very long time.**

**"I'm sure that Duo will be pleased to know that you didn't plan out a way to just drop out of the Earth Sphere's rather extensive radar system," Chang retorted dryly. "Look, Yuy, while I am angry at you for just taking off and leaving me with a ****_lot_**** of panicking people, I ****_do_**** understand the desire to get away from it all and deal with your demons. In fact, I think besides Duo, I am the one who best understands that." A thin, black eyebrow arched in humourless amusement.**

**"The point I am attempting to convey is this. You left your supposed best friend on the 'spur of the moment' to enroll into a very excellent but encompassing program to retrain your way of thinking. The only mistake you made is that you failed to alert the people who care about you. Leaving the rest of us to deal with Peacecraft's hysterics and Duo's simmering rage at being dismissed as he was. It was a very selfish thing of you to do, and if Duo was thinking rationally, instead of emotionally, I'm sure that he would be proud of you for doing something that wasn't stated in a mission's parameters."**

**"I was under the impression that you hated me, Chang," Heero said, his brain mulling over what the other man said.**

**"Hardly," the Chinese man replied. "Listen, Yuy, you are an admirable opponent on the battlefield, but even I know that that is useless in the day-to-day life that we must all live from this point on. Khushrenada's death was a blow that I was unwilling to accept, and I paid the price for my reluctance to let go with the humiliation you dealt me during the Eve's War. Now, I just want to get on with my life and have my friends and former comrades as happy as they can possibly get.**

**"For some unknowable reason, you are what would make Duo happy." He shrugged delicately, sipping at his lukewarm tea. "Now, the question is this: do you think that Duo is worth the effort?"**

"No, Hilde," Duo whispered harshly, yanking his arm out of the German woman's hands. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Tough luck, my friend," she retorted, making sure that the kitchen door was closed behind them and no children had snuck away from Trowa and Cathy. "At this point, you either talk to me, or I go add to the bruises and cuts Lover Boy has on pure, fucking principle."

"You leave Heero out of his," he yelled, turning to the meddling bitch with pure fury. "You keep your goddamn nose out of this, Hilde. You and Cathy both. God, I'm so fucking sick and tired of everything. First, you were worried because I was too upset about Heero being gone. Cathy on my case about denying the fact that I've been in love with him since we met. Well, I'm _not_. I _know_ that I've loved him since then, and if that isn't some twisted, _fucked_ up indicator of how a relationship with Heero Yuy is going to be, I don't know what else is! I am a _grown_ up. I don't need the two of you nagging me and not letting me make mistakes." He pointed at her harshly. "I never said _anything_ about things when you and Cathy started fucking, so you can stay the _hell_ out of my personal life."

Hilde blinked her big blue eyes while opening and closing her mouth in shock. Duo would have laughed if he wasn't so angry. Instead, he tamped down his anger as best he could and turned his back on his friend until she spoke again. "I know, Duo," she whispered. "I know that you love him and that you're more upset that he didn't trust you enough to let you know what he was doing, but you've got to talk to him or he'll leave again. And that would crush you." He turned to glare at her, but she'd gotten whatever courage she had and pulled it up by its bootstraps. "You can deny it, and you probably would act like nothing's wrong, but we'd watch you slowly die inside, and I don't _want_ to see that happen."

"So, you want me to just suck up what's left of my pride and beg Heero to stay here? I can guarantee you that that's _not_ going to happen!"

"Of course not!" Hilde came and placed a gentle hand on Duo's arm. "I want you to yell, scream, curse, accuse, and hit him if you have to, but you need to make him explain himself to you adequately and don't let him give you some stupid excuse."

He could feel the tears of frustration building up behind his eyes and he vehemently shook his head to keep them from falling. "I can't do this right now, Hill. I just can't. I'm gonna go lay down. If you need something major, ask Trowa or Quatre." Before his friend could respond, he was running out of the kitchen, through the dining room, the old lobby and up the stairs to the third floor, where he barricaded himself behind the door to his room as soon as he possibly could, not bothering to check the kitchenette on the third floor at all.

_I don't want to deal with this,_ Duo screamed in his head. _If he's going to leave, he should just leave already. I wish he'd never come. Everything would have been fine and I wouldn't have to deal with all this shit._ He stopped his mental rant and went back over what he'd just thought. _No, I'm wrong. Everything would have been as screwed up as it was before. I'd still be worrying about his safety and wondering when the day was that I'd get the call from 'Fei that Heero was dead or was facing treason charges. Having some answers is better than worrying forever. _

_So I wasn't good enough to inform of his decision to go into therapy. I can live with that, I guess. At least he let me know that he was still alive. That's better than nothing. I just want to know if he's going to stay or leave. I don't _want_ him to leave, but I don't think I made him feel very welcome._

With a huge sigh, Duo threw himself on his bed, determined to stop his circular and depressing thoughts. If he wanted to resolve the whole thing, he'd have to talk to Heero, but he wasn't ready for that just yet.

How long Heero sat at the kitchenette's table, he couldn't have told anyone later. Quatre and Chang had drifted downstairs to help the other adults with dinner and watching the children. He heard some crashing footsteps that stopped when the door to Duo's room slammed closed, but he was at a loss at what to do. When a throat cleared, he looked up to see Hilde standing there with her arms folded across her chest. "Lover Boy, you need to go and talk to Duo, or it doesn't matter what you do from here on out," she said quietly.

"Do you…" He frowned, not really sure how to phrase what he wanted to say. "Do you think that he would be receptive to me staying here?'

"I don't know where you've been for the last few days, Yuy, but if you'd been paying attention, you'd already know the answer to that question," the woman said, coming to sit in a chair across from him. "Listen, Heero, I've never been as close to Duo as you or Chang, but I do understand him a bit more, I think. He doesn't know if he should push you away or cling to you so tightly that neither of you can breathe properly. I'd say under the circumstances, it's normal. But the next step _has_ to be done by you. You have to show him that you care for him. Otherwise, he's going to come out of that room with another mask on, put his shoulder to the grindstone and continue to plough his way on, day after day, without you. That's how it's gonna be if you don't man up."

"And what if I do?" Heero asked, seeing the truth in what the German woman was saying about their American friend. "What happens then?"

"Got me. I'm sure that Chang and Quatre already tore you a new asshole, and if I know Chang at all, he left you to think about something." Hilde gave him a sympathetic smile and stood up from the chair. "Now's not the time to think, but to do. You need to confront Duo, or—and I can nearly guarantee this—you'll be packed and ready to go in the morning." She waved before heading back downstairs. "Good night, Heero."

When he was alone, Heero took a deep breath and set his face into a grimace before letting his facial muscles relax. Gathering all of his courage, he stood from the table and walked over to Duo's door. _I don't remember being this nervous in my entire life,_ he thought as he raised his hand to knock. After three sharp raps, he waited, his heart beating in his eardrums.

There was no answer.

Heero waited a few minutes and then knocked again. His heart was pounding madly, drowning out the buzzing of everyone downstairs, and yet, nothing from the other side of Duo's bedroom door.

He knocked a third time—harder—and decided to speak out. "Duo, open the door. We need to talk."

That got a reaction from the room's occupant. "What do you want?" Duo yelled through the closed door.

"I want to talk to you," Heero said calmly.

"If you're leaving, then just go," Duo replied levelly. The American's nonchalance irked Heero and he let it show in his voice.

"I love how you've already decided what I will do, Duo. Now, will you open this door or shall I kick it in?"

"Fuck you," Duo snarled as the door swung open.

"Is that an invitation?" Heero asked, shoving down the impulse to push the braided man into his room and slam the door as he entered. "I don't think our relationship is at that stage just yet."

Violet eyes blinked in confusion as Duo tried to find the words to say something. "Did you…did you just make a joke about fucking me?"

Heero gave the other man a slight smile as he entered Duo's bedroom and shut the door behind him. "I did. I thought that if you were going to behave like Chang, then I would behave like you. It worked."

Duo shook his head and turned to face the rest of the room, which was just as sparsely furnished as the one Heero slept in. The only thing that spoke of Duo's true personality was the mannequin with the familiar priest's garb and a large rosary. _It's just like he's waiting for a new mission to come along and he has to run off. I guess I'm not the only one with habits left over from the wars._ That let Heero wait patiently for the American to look at him again and speak.

"What _have_ you decided then?" Duo asked in a small voice, arms wrapped around him as if to protect himself.

"Well, after speaking to both Chang and Hilde, I'd like to stay, if you want me here," Heero answered, his heart pounding wildly once more.

He knew it was the right thing to say when Duo's arms dropped to his side and his mouth crooked into a lopsided smile. "Great. I know just where we can put you."

_~ Four Months Later ~ _

Duo opened the doors to the orphanage and let in the colony agency's inspector. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Fields," he said with a smile that stretched across his entire face. "How are you this month?"

"Oh, I'm fine, Mr. Maxwell," the petite brunette said, returning his grin with a small smile of her own. "Where is Mr. Barton?"

"Tro's out in the back with the older girls. They're working on some vegetable garden idea."

"Isn't that the third time you've tried to grow something out in the backyard?" the social worker asked, looking around and the spotless entry hall.

"Yeah, but now that the local police have cleared out the last of _Los_ _Chupacabras_, we thought we'd give it a try."

"And Cathy and Hilde, where are they?" They stopped as they walked into the TV room. The younger children were sitting around with Cathy, Hilde, and two of Quatre's sisters, working on puzzles and reading books. The woman turned to stare at Duo with cool, calculating brown eyes. "Alright, where are the older boys and Mr. Yuy?"

Duo smiled widely. "That's what I wanted to show you. Remember the old gym that I wanted to turn into a workout room for the longest time?"

"Yes?"

"Well, between Wufei and Heero, it's done. They've got the older boys in there, teaching them martial arts." Duo led the woman through the hall behind the TV room and opened the last door on the right. He let the social worker enter before him to absorb the full impact of what was going on.

The room had been covered in floor to ceiling mirrors, but most of those had been removed and replaced with wallpaper that resembled old-fashioned shoji screens. It had been Quatre's idea to give the training room the feeling of an actual dojo, and Wufei and Heero had jumped on it and made it happen. In fact, the floor was made out of synthetic tatami mats that would need replacing every year, instead of every three months. Various stations held the weapons that the children would _eventually_ learn to use, but they were all held behind Gundanium reinforced cabinets, so no one would get hurt. The lighting had been changed to be softer and more natural-looking. In fact, it hardly resembled the room they'd started with.

"I have to ask you what you did with all of the old exercise equipment," Mrs Fields said breathlessly.

"I sold it to Howard as scrap metal. He was only too happy to take it off of my hands," Duo answered as he watched Heero help Jimmy through his katas and Wufei correct everyone's forms.

"So, what form of martial arts are they being taught?"

"Um, I _think_ Wufei is teaching them Kung Fu, and Heero's doing some sort of judo, but I never really asked."

"Are they going to be learning kendo?"

"You'll have to ask the instructors, truthfully, because I'm only here to patch up any injuries that they get."

"Yes, I heard that you got complete field medic certification. What made you go for that?"

"Well, with all these kids running around here, it seemed pretty sad that the only one with any sort of medical training was Cathy. Trowa got certified as well last week."

"I have to tell you, Mr. Maxwell, that this set up is quite spectacular. I'm completely impressed."

"Thank you," Duo said, blushing as Heero and Wufei both looked over with non-verbal questions. "So, how many more children were you hoping to place here?"

"Five, if that's okay with you and the rest of your staff."

"Thank God. I thought you were going to say ten or something bigger."

"Well, Mr. Maxwell, you're already housing twenty children under the age of sixteen here. Twenty-five is the most I can let you take care of with such a small staff. Unless you plan on bringing in more of Mr. Winner's sisters on a permanent basis."

"Nope, can't do that. Love Q, but his sisters are only good when they switch out every week. Although, Kadijah has been taking to Rebecca and Fatima about adoption."

"That sounds wonderful. Make sure that you have Ms. Winner call my office if she's truly serious and not just doing this on a whim."

"Will do, Jenny," Duo replied. "Anything else?"

"Well, I'll have to inspect the rest of the building, and then there's the psychological visits for the children we need to discuss."

"Sure, whenever you're ready. I'll be in my office."

"Thank you," the woman said, turning on her heel to walk over the old hotel on her own.

Strong arms wrapped around Duo's waist, making him smile genuinely. "You know, you made this quarterly inspection sound much worse than it appears to be," Heero whispered in his ear.

"Well, I had to make it sound pretty bad to get some of the kids to actually _clean up_ their own messes in time," Duo responded, turning around in Heero's arms to return the embrace before moving away. "But, Jenny loves the new dojo and she's totally going to place five new kids here in the next week."

"She didn't say how old they were, did she?"

"No, but I'm hoping that they'll be a little older now that she knows what kind of set up with have for the older children."

"We'll see when they get here," Heero said, placing a chaste kiss on Duo's cheek before releasing his lover. "I'd better get back to work, or Chang will skin me in our sparing match later."

With a wave, Duo left the training room to go to his office. Things were great, as far as he was concerned. Trowa and Quatre were _tentatively_ seeing each other, and the blond was visiting more. Wufei had become a part-time Preventer so that he could spend more time at the orphanage, helping out Duo and the others. Heero and Wufei had settled in fine with the kids. Cathy and Hilde were talking about having a civil union sometime soon. Heero and he had finally moved into the same room on the third floor last week. The gang situation in their part of the colony had calmed down, and there was talk by the colony's council about some Urban Renewal being done near the orphanage. Oh, and the kids were happy and healthy.

All in all, it was a great way to live, and definitely worth the trouble they'd experienced.

Now, if only Relena would go back to politics, instead of hanging around on L2 for Heero to "come to his senses."

**The End.**


End file.
